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No Such Thing As Balance

8 comments | March 14th, 2012

(story by OOC via psychcentral.com, first posted 8.29.11 and again now))

We bumped into this on our travels around the interwebs, really loved it, and thought you would too.  Here you go:

"I interviewed  a researcher about attaining a work-life balance. Her first words to me were: There’s no such thing as balance.

And trying to reach a so-called balance is akin to reaching perfection. In other words, it’s not going to happen, and we’re going to drive ourselves insane along the way…"

No here's where the article get's really interesting and provocative (to us, anyway).  The author, a body image blogger, begins to explore balance in the context of body image.  We dig her take…a lot.  Here she goes:

But when people say balance, I think what they typically mean is a happy medium or not residing on either side of the spectrum. At least that’s the way I view balance.  With body image, I see a deeply negative body image at one end of the spectrum – where you hate your body, ignore its signals and rarely look after it – and an unrealistically positive body image at the other – where you shoo away every negative, yucky thought, deny your feelings and become the Pollyanna of body positivity.

So balance isn’t some ideal location, some perfect pedestal we must reach. It’s just the opposite. It’s hanging out at a comfortable place somewhere between the above extremes...

It’s a place where you aren’t cursing your hips regularly or denying or condemning any negative thought that swirls in your brain…so balance to me also means being honest with yourself, attending to what’s going on inside and not seeking perfection."

(read the original and entire piece here.  And follow the writer, Margarita Tartakovsky, MS, she's great.)

So there's 2 pieces to this that we want to lean into.  First, is the idea of balance…how in or out of it do you feel now?  Most of the time?  Why do you think that is – and do you think the researcher mentioned up top is right…and there ain't no such thing?

Second, we want to pick up on Margarita's point about balance being that found between 2 points, and ask if you feel like you can apply this to different parts of your life…body image, work:life, happiness generally.  Can you float between the points on the continuum and feel good, or if you're not always living on the high side do you just feel bad?  Tell us what you think and why.  And remember, you can always tell us anonymously.  Xo

8 comments

  • Sweet Sue

    Posted on August 29, 2011

    There is no balance in my life whatsoever. I wake up, get ready for work, go to work, get home late, eat, go to sleep and start all over again. I have no time for me, for friends, and haven’t had sex in 10 months!

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  • HJ

    Posted on August 29, 2011

    It’s a really good point. Balance is that place between A and Z that works. I’ve never really thought about it as being between 2 places before, just whether I feel in it or out of it. This makes a lot of sense and I think can help me feel in it more then I have. I hope it can. :)

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  • J.B.H.

    Posted on March 14, 2012

    For me, balance has always been like the holy grail – a concept more than a destination. I seek it, I want it, I try and work for it, but I never find it.

    I have all these ideas about how to create it and find more of it in my life. I’m just not there.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on March 14, 2012

    I word re balance: Ha!

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  • Anna

    Posted on March 14, 2012

    This is so good:

    So balance isn’t some ideal location, some perfect pedestal we must reach. It’s just the opposite. It’s hanging out at a comfortable place somewhere between the above extremes…

    It’s a place where you aren’t cursing your hips regularly or denying or condemning any negative thought that swirls in your brain…so balance to me also means being honest with yourself, attending to what’s going on inside and not seeking perfection.

    Report this comment

    • Eva@OOC

      Posted on March 14, 2012

      This is exactly the part that resonated for me. I think I err on the side of “cursing my hips”, so I need to find some more compassion for myself. Thanks for sharing, Anna.

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  • DM

    Posted on March 14, 2012

    I WISH I could find this kind of balance. I spend a lot of time hating myself in the mirror and changing my clothes in an attempt to hide my flaws. How’s that working for me? Not so well. Gonna try to take this article to heart.

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