Amy Sedaris, a Chestism

7 comments | March 14th, 2012

(first submitted by OOC: 12.14.10, then again, today)

Here's Amy Sedaris, in an interview for Psychology Today:

"They assume that I want a boyfriend, and yeah, that I'd probably like to get married and have a baby – but they're wrong."

Why do we love it, you ask?  Because it speaks to the expectations of others, and how Amy acknowledges them and dismisses them – as not what she wants for her.  To us, in a lot of ways, it's the essence of what we're hoping OOC helps you do for you…realize what you want, and what you don't…get closer to understanding the things that hate on your happy (and why they do) and the things that make you happier (and why), so you can spend more time on the happier than the hating.

Soooo…you ever find yourself confronting the expectations others have of what you should want, and thinking nope, they're wrong?  You ever say anything to them?  Tell us about the when, whos and whys.  Yea, expectations can be such a buzzkill.  #Discuss.



  • Maybe I do

    Posted on December 15, 2010

    sometimes i feel a pressure (form my friends, my mother, the waiter at the restaurant who wonders why i’m always a table for one) to just be with someone so i can say i’m with someone even if he’s not the right someone. what good does that do me?

    Report this comment

    • Jeanne

      Posted on December 6, 2011

      When I was in my 20’s, I did the same thing for the same reason. You don’t have to do that. I understand the pressure but I’m just saying do what’s right for you.

      Report this comment

  • Jeanne

    Posted on December 6, 2011

    I think being female in our world is ALL about expectations! My whole life has been adversely affected by the expectations of my parents and society. Reading magazines and being exposed to advertising has been detrimental to my life. And what a shame! Unfortunately, I think most girls and women just go along with it instead of challenging what others expect of them maybe because they think no one else has these private thoughts and feelings. Thank goodness for OOC for starting such a great dialogue.

    My more recent expectations have to do with gray hair. I just moved from an area of the country where no women have them. Well, the carpet maybe but not the drapes. I’m exaggerating when I say no one is gray but just barely. You cannot even buy gray hair shampoo in that area and when I asked where it was, the store clerk looked at me disgustingly and I felt she was thinking “why are you letting yourself go? You’re supposed to pretend you’re young, like me.”

    I’m kind of sickened by so many women in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s acting like they are in their 20’s. The money spent just on appearance with such a denial of the inevitable is mind-boggling. Hey, I’m all for being active but aging happens.

    Of course, women in the older age groups are sorely under represented in the media. According to the document Miss Representation, older women, though 47% of the population are depicted 26% of the time as opposed to women in their 20’s and 30’s who are 39% of the population yet shown 71% of the time. So, no wonder women are a little lost.

    And have you noticed all the female brunette broadcasters going blonde at the first sight of gray? (For crying out loud, women in their 80’s are dying their hair. Who are they kidding?) Men are considered wise, experienced and distinguished. But our wisdom has nothing of value to our society. We are only here to look good for others’ purposes.

    So, I’m trying to age gracefully and I get a lot of compliments on how nice it looks and, hopefully, I am inspiring others to stop the obsession and recognize their wisdom and its value to our society whether others do or not.

    Report this comment

  • OffOurChests

    Posted on December 6, 2011

    Amen to all that, Jeanne. Thanks for adding so much to the conversation.

    BTW, what did you think of Miss Representation?

    Report this comment

  • Jeanne

    Posted on December 6, 2011

    Overall, I loved it.

    Two little things that bothered me.

    1. That on older actress, that dyes her hair, and played big sex kitten roles AND put forth an exercise program that me and many of my peers truly believed in and tried to make work for years …. well, she also revealed in her latest biography that it wasn’t the exercise; it was the purging. Well, I have a problem with her now talking like she’s fighting the fight. (And I’m sure she is in many ways.) But I do feel let down.


    2. A newscaster who went blonde instead of gray. And I get it that that’s what they have to do and everyone on TV does it.


    if this is how our most powerful women have to do it to maintain their power, to play by the beauty rules to get taken seriously, ugh! I also think there is going to have to be some honesty about what we are doing to try to measure up to a standard of beauty that is unattainable, and quite frankly, limited, for 99% of us so we can stop it and put our money and time to more useful work which will serve ourselves and our society best.

    I wish Jamie Lee Curtis had been in the movie because even though when younger she played the sexy woman, she went on to expose the photography tricks that alter women’s images. She said “I don’t really look this. Come see what they do to change how I look.” And she’s also in her 50’s and letting her hair be naturally gray. And she’s beautiful! The reason we’re uncomfortable seeing gray hair is that we don’t so we don’t get to see how gorgeous and glamorous it can be.

    Miss Representation is a great documentary which will, hopefully, stir up a lot of discussion AND action and everyone should see it as soon as possible. It has given me hope.

    Report this comment

  • L.

    Posted on March 14, 2012

    I DO want a boyfriend. If only I could find one.

    Report this comment

  • Sally

    Posted on March 14, 2012

    I think that most things that people assumes about me are wrong.

    Report this comment