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An Irrational Fear of Death

4 comments | April 27th, 2012

(story submiited by A.G., a chestist)

I think I have an irrational fear of death.  I absolutely have an irrational fear of death.

My father died when I was 16, my mother 3 years later, and my best friend died when we were 28.  I'm 33 now and every time I cough or feel a twinge or get a headache or pretty much anything, I think I'm going to die.  It's not being a hypochondriac as much as really thinking I'm going to die.

I wouldn't mind the fear as much if I lived a really robust life because of them.  You know, the whole live fast, die young, leave a good looking corpse idea.  I'm not though.  It's got me afaid to do anything, to build relationships, to even consider the long term.  Being afraid of dying soon is keeping me from living now.\

You have any "irrational fears" that hate on your happy?

 

4 comments

  • L.S.

    Posted on April 27, 2012

    Everyone in my family died pretty young. I’m 44 now and, maybe like you, Ikeep waiting for the shoe and me to fall.

    It’s always been a motivator for me. I really try and focus on what matters and live intensely since I have no idea if I don’t think I’ll be around very long. If I think about it a lot, and think about missing my kids growing older, I lose my shit and so I don’t. I live for now because nothing is guaranteed to any one of us.

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  • Vi

    Posted on April 27, 2012

    I know it is cliche but still “carpe diem”.

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  • Mama

    Posted on April 28, 2012

    I have a pretty crazy fear of germs. I worry that I am making my kids phobic. I just can’t let my girls sit on toilet seats, eat things that have fallen on the ground, or dine at certain restaurants. Wish i could control t, but I can’t!

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