Happy HatingI Miss Optimism

1 response | August 15th, 2012

chestist blue

(by MCC, 29 yo)

There was a time when I had certainty everything would always be ok.  You know, that sense that no matter what happened it all happened for good reasons and that everything would be as it should and that that - that would be great.

Then bad things started happening. My mom got sick, the guy I was sure I was going to marry got a job and nmoved away and we couldn't manage the long-distance and longer abscences.  A career that was going great stopped being so great.  I keep looking for the lessons and I don't see any.

It all makes me more cynical and less hopeful.  More confused and less certain that everything is going to work out.  I miss optimism. {end story}

You ever feel like you're on the wrong side of Karma?  What do you do to get back to the other side?

#chestismsMaking Mistakes

6 comments | August 14th, 2012

yellow sun rays

(by KSE, a Chestist)

Live, learn, screw up, get better.  Here's her story:

I make so many mistakes.  At work, and with my family and friends.  I do the wrong thing and sometimes I do the right thing in the wrong way.  Sometimes I say the wrong thing even though I mean to say the right thing.

I carry my umbrella on days when it doesn't rain, and sometimes I don't carry it on days when it does.  I take wrong turns, and sometimes choose the wrong things at restaurants.  I give people breaks who don't deserve them and sometimes don't give breaks to people who do.

I can be short-tempered and quick-fused.  I can trust blindly when I shouldn't.  Sometimes I sleep with guys I wish I hadn't.

I can hold on to some things too long and other things and people not long enough.  I buy things that I don't always like when I get them home.  I've taken the easy way out when I should have done the right thing even if it was the harder thing. I've made a lot of mistakes.

I've learned to appreciate my mistakes even ...

#lifestagesTTYL, BFF

21 comments | August 13th, 2012

cloudy talk burst

(by Mir from WouldaShoulda)

As a child---and perhaps even more so, as a teenager---I was jealous of my friends who lived in neighborhoods where they could walk to other friends' houses. We lived kind of out in the sticks, and if I was to hang out in proximity to another kid my own age, I would need a ride. And it's not that I never got to go to other people's houses, but it wasn't nearly as frequent as I wished. Basically I wanted to be able to access my friends any time I felt like it, a.k.a., always.

The result of this sad state of affairs was twofold: First, during school (and classes where talking was prohibited, or the desired friends were in different classes) I wrote notes. Lots and lots of notes. The beauty of a note was that if you did it right, it looked like you were hard at work on whatever you were supposed to be doing, and then you could either chuck it at your intended recipient when the teacher's back was turned (if she was in your class) or pass it ...

Not Proud.

5 comments | August 12th, 2012

chestist threads

(by anonymous)

I am constantly berating myself for not doing better things with my free time. Instead of exercising, doing something productive, taking some of the household jobs off of my husband's back, etc, I hang out at the cafe with friends, read books etc. I don't have the willpower to get myself to do what I should. I should get a job and have a boss. It's all the more unacceptable because on the outside I have a completely perfect life- I'm in decent shape (could lose 10 lbs but definitely not fat), 4 kids who are healthy and do well at school (although I'm always on them to do better), a husband who makes a ton of money, a lovely house in the city and a summer house on the beach, enough money to do basically anything I want. And a ph.d in an area I am good at. Why can't I either enjoy myself or get motivated to do something so that I am proud of myself! {end story}

Love & SexMy BF’s Porn

22 comments | August 12th, 2012


(by Katie, a 25yo Chestist)

There's so much about this story sent us by one of you we think is important, let's just let her do the talking:

I don't know if I'm upset right now. Or even if I should be.

I hopped on the BF's laptop to check email this morning (his was on and I was lazy enough to not want to turn mine on) and saw he had some... ahem... visual aids... up in the tabs. Now, we have frequently used porn of various kinds as foreplay ("Do you like this? Why? Why not?") so me checking out what was selected has positive precedent with us.

But these were all "Barely Legal!" and "All Horny Teens!" sites... Not the usual variety pack of mid/latetwenties, obviously adult bodies. Im willing to enjoy the blanket assumption that all of these girls are fully legal and do this to support their own, noncoerced sexuality, but all I can see is the girls in the teen Girl Scout troop I volunteered with last year. I texted him to ask about it (nicely, I swear) and he called not ...

Bronze Medalists Are Happyer

comment | August 10th, 2012

(via Scientific American)


Happy HatingPissed

6 comments | August 10th, 2012

chestist black scratch

(by So Mad)

I get angry quickly.  It's like a reflex.  Someone does or maybe doesn't do something and, voila, anger and frustration are immediate.

I try and talk myself out of the emotion.  I know the anger doesn't serve me.  I can't though.  I just keep spinning and stewing in what made me pissed in the first place.  It doesn't help anything. {end story}

How do you get past anger and frustration?  Or do you stew in it like our writer?  Any advice?  Any questions?  Let's share.

(Oh, and for more thoughts on getting past anger go here.)

I See You Online

3 comments | August 8th, 2012

do you see me

(by anonymous)

I see you online and all the things you do for her that you didn't do for me and I wonder why. Is it you or was it me?  {end story}

Tell us, you ever find yourself bumping into the past online ~ and not feeling good about it?  Why do you still care?

(and here's another story from our archives about dating online.  We think you'll like it.)

#bodiesBattery Operated

10 comments | August 8th, 2012

exploding flowers

(by anonymous)

I'm 28 and have orgasms by myself, but having them during sex seems very difficult for me.

I've been having sex for a good 13 years and the big O only comes with the help of a battery operated device. {end story}

There's no doubt orgasms make us feel more better (yup, you can quote us on that).  So a quick poll...you and orgasms a) always b) never c) sometimes d) only with a vibrator e) only by ____ (fill in the blank).  Remember, you can always comment anonymously at Feel More Better.

(note" this story came in as a comment on this one.)




59 comments | August 6th, 2012


(by Mir)

Pardon me while I settle myself down on my porch and shake my cane at passersby. All young whippersnappers should probably steer clear of me for their own safety. It's not that I mean to be cranky, it's that I'm suddenly feeling quite old and fed up with today's award-based messages to our kids.

There's no shortage of stories about the travesty that is the American need for everyone to be a winner. Participate in a sport? Get a trophy! Participate in a contest? Get a ribbon! Participate in some other random thing? Here's your certificate of participation! No one is special when everyone is. We've spoon-fed our kids the need to "get" something every single time they bother to get out of bed. And then we wonder why they feel unfulfilled, unmotivated, or generally directionless.

None of this is news, of course. And I have tried, with my own kids, to do the "right" things: praise their efforts, but not too much; reward for actual accomplishments, but not feel the need to reward everything; extoll the virtues of intangibles like teamwork and creativity and persistence rather than whether ...

When I Step On The Scale

comment | August 5th, 2012

Via @JulieRicherfort and TedX


No, Thank YOU

2 comments | August 5th, 2012


(by anonymous)

We got the note below here at FMB worldwide HQ from of one you.  It makes us feel good to help you guys feel better, so we wanted to share it and say thanks (and you're welcome). We're all in this together. ~FMB

I just want to say... Thank you for listening for caring for making me feel human or even better like a woman like a true woman. There's nothing wrong with you or me and i want to thank you for that, and all of this makes me feel beautiful.. :) {end note}

Love & SexA New Relationship

8 comments | August 5th, 2012


(by anonymous, 20)

My whole life I've been a confident and independent girl. I crave deep connection (and luckily find it frequently as I am from a huge and fabulous family), but I have crippling fears of vulnerability.

I'm happy to be dating a man who is my first real relationship. Navigating these new waters of being in a serious relationship is fun but so terrifying. I feel naked half of the time, hiding the other half. Is that normal?

I keep thinking "what's the point?" of getting in so deep with this guy when we are both so young, it will probably only end in heartbreak. It's horrible to not be able to just be present and enjoy where I am right now, but that question eats at me. I just assume that my bf and I will eventually break up, and sometimes I think I self-sabotage and try to expedite the process. I thought I would feel better when he said "I love you," but this feeling won't go away.

Does this mean I'm not in love? I was certain I was until he ...

#chestismsZoe Saldana on Happiness

4 comments | August 4th, 2012


(By FMB)

"Happiness is nothing but temporary moments here and there - and I love those. But I would be bored out of my mind if I were happy all the time." ~ Zoe Saldana

What do you think?  Would being happy all the time be boring?  Do you need "downs" to feel the "ups"? #Discuss

#lifestagesRaising Our Girl Not To Have Low Self~Esteem

comment | August 3rd, 2012

ella f

(by seth/FMB)

Unconditional love’s a funny thing.

It can take your world and toss it upside down. And it can take your view of the world and shake it like a Maraca. It did mine.

The thing is, I never really felt the need to be a father, to have kids, to change a life and a partnership with my wife that was amazing and missing nothing.  I thought maybe we should just get another dog, but wasn’t able to convince her of that.  Then our daughter was born and BANG, everything changed.  She’s now 6 years old and along with her 5-year-old brother, she’s changed the way I look at the world, walk through the world and what I want from the world.  That’s not bad from someone who got out of diapers not all that long ago.

It took us 8 years to have a baby, which was plenty of time for our gestation as parents – even for someone like me who needs remedial help in most other parts of life.  Along the way, we had plenty of time to define what it is we wanted to do and ...