Her Diagnosis: Bipolar Disorder

5 comments | November 16th, 2011

(story submitted by Euna, A Chestist)

This is one of those stories that reminds us all that no matter how dark today, tomorrow's always around the corner.  Let's get right into this,  sent us some months back by Euna, a chestist and one of you:

When I was 11, I started cutting. Stupid, I know.

When people think of a cutter they see an emo kid listening to The Cure slicing into their wrists saying, "No one understands me!" For me, I was just a normal kid. I realized, with a pair of scissors, how amazing the blood looked as it trailed down my finger. It was an accident at first, but I continued to do it. I became obsessed with the pain, because it filled some infinitesimal hole I felt had burrowed it's way deep into my heart.

By the time I was 13, I had multiple scars on my arms and legs. I fell into rapid depressions that would last for days at a time, and I hardly ever went to school. My teenage years were filled with these depressions, as well as periods of time where I'd skip school, go shopping, go to parties, get drunk, get high, and sleep around. At age 16, I fell in love, and got my heart broken. I had always been the heartbreaker. After months of grieving, I realized my depression was lasting longer than it ever had.

When I was 17, and I could not stand the thought of living to see another year. I attempted to kill myself. My cutting habits really came to life, and I slashed my wrists to the bone. After being in the hospital for three days, then a mental rehab for nine, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder. This disorder is so rapidly misdiagnosed no one takes it seriously. But it is very serious, and it's dangerous. Luckily, I never caught an STD, got pregnant, or died. And now, I'm on medications that have helped me greatly.

I am living a wonderful, single life, going to school to become a Diagnostic Medical Sonographer. I no longer cut, but I'm left with the scars. {end story}

A lot of us have been (some of us still are) that "nornal kid" who suddenly found themselves on the wrong side of our biology, or happiness, or circumstance.  We've looked in the mirror and seen something and someone entirely different ahn what everyone else sees.  Is this something you can relate to?  Have you ever found yourself obsessed, as Euna did, with what hurts…physically or emotionally?  Not much can hate on our happy like that.  Let's #discuss.

Oh, and this picture was sent in by our author.