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Body Image Liberation

3 comments | June 28th, 2012

(story submitted by Esia, a Chestist)

I've never liked my body.  My proportions are wrong, I'm usually a little overweight, and I seem stuck in a perpetual bad hair day.

Fashion has always been my way of hiding what I don't like and showing what I do.  It's been how I help myself feel prettier.  As you can imagine, summer has been a hard season because we begin to unwrap and the beach or the pool, sheer terror.  Until last weekend. 

We were in the Hamptons and at a beautiful cocktail party on the beach.  It was summer afternoon perfect.  The water is still freezing and so only a few people were crazy enough to go in, but everyone was running around or milling around in bathing suits and various stages of Hampton's elegant causal undress.  I felt like I was hiding, and that by hiding I was keeping myself from having fun that I should be having. I decided not to do that anymore.  Dropping my wrap and taking off my little sweater to get down just to my bathing suit was an odd mix between hurting and feeling good, almost like when you're a kid and you keep poking that loose tooth in your mouth.  It hurts, but it hurts in a good way.

Mind you, there was not one single person paying attention to what I was doing, and yet for me, it was like it was all happening in slow motion and – obviously – the eyes of the world were watching me.  I'd decided I'd have fun.  I decided I'd been hiding long enough.  I decided I wanted to jump in the freezing water and feel it.  So I did.

When I got out of the water, I wrapped a towel around myself as fast as I could.  Then I dropped it, and all the pretense.  My body doesn't have perfect proportions.  I am a little overweight (wet hair helped my BHD).  SO WHAT?  The worst thing about how I felt about my body is the fun it kept me from having and how uptight it made me about me.  Now, I feel so liberated and free.

Are there things about me I wish were different?  As many as there were before this cold water swim.  But you know what, they're not going to hold me back the way they used to.  I plan on having a lot of fun this summer.  {end story}

Love this story from Esia.  What can you do to drop the "wrap" and liberate yourself from feeling bad about you (if you do)?

 

 

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