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WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Can We See Your I.D.

9 comments | April 24th, 2012

In the mood for a deep thought?  We've got one for you….

Here @OOC HQ, we think one of the keys to happiness is knowing who you truly are. If your sense of self and identity has been shaped – whether by default or design – by someone else's sense of who and what you should be, well, that might make happier a tougher place to get – you know what we mean?

Sometimes we want to fit in, sometimes we want to stand out, and sometimes we create a sense of our selves in reaction to X or Y, and not as a proactive effort to be the us we want to be. 

Sooooo….do you feel like you know who you are?  How different is this from who you want to be?

Who (and perhaps what) else has played a role in shaping your sense of self and identity, for good or bad?  If you told you what you should be from here, what would you say?  What (or who) do you want to be that you aren't yet?  What (or who) is stopping you?.    XO, OOC

9 comments

  • Anonymous

    Posted on December 28, 2011

    Growing up, all i knew for certain was that i didn’t want to be like my parents. i didn’t want what they wanted for me, i didn’t want a marriage like theirs, and i didn’t want lives like theirs.

    so many of the choices i made were made to ensure my life didn’t look like theirs, not to ensure my life looked like i wanted it to.

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  • My 3 Cents

    Posted on April 24, 2012

    Now that I’m getting older (34), I look back and think it’s all some strange alchemy of nature and nurture. What I mean is that while we are who we are, we become who we become because of everyone around us. I really believe that every interaction shapes our sense of who we are since that little voice inside our heads reacts to every interaction and puts each one in buckets with ‘yes’ “no” or ‘other’ written on them. It’s the ones in the ‘other’ bucket that make us think.

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    • OOC

      Posted on April 27, 2012

      Wisdom: I really believe that every interaction shapes our sense of who we are since that little voice inside our heads reacts to every interaction and puts each one in buckets with ‘yes’ “no” or ‘other’ written on them.

      Thx, My 3.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on April 24, 2012

    I’ve always shaped me in relation to people I consider cool and interesting, and ever since i was in the 5th grade. At its most superficial, I worry that I’ve got no originality. On the other hand, I think I curate what I see and choose what to make part of me.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on April 24, 2012

    I saw the illustration, and all I could think of was “I am unhappy”.

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  • MB

    Posted on April 24, 2012

    I was definitely shaped by my crazy family. They were pretty volatile and unpredictable, so I spent my time trying to keep the peace. I got really good at reading the room and avoiding conflict. There are parts of this which are an asset, but others that do not serve me. Really hard to break these patterns.

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    • UnderCoverWarrior

      Posted on April 23, 2014

      I can completely relate with what you have shared. I was a peace seeker in my family, I tried filling others needs without ever considering my own. Learning to accept and live, I’m also trying to heal. I know this was posted long ago, but if someone can read this and benefit, all the more power to them. God Bless, peace and love, good luck in life, be positive, live.

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  • UnderCoverWarrior

    Posted on April 23, 2014

    I’m 25 and after many difficult years of working on and off with therapists and doing work on my own, I have found that I am removing many habits that arose from having experienced a lot of trauma and lived with PTSD. I never really felt I had an identity, this according to Erik Erickson’s theory on a social developmental stages – most of my life felt I was growing up without being aware I was very ill. I was stuck and confused on roles, I had traits of various personality disorders. I had survived three major events when I was 6. I had been a victim of a drunk driver hit and run. In another occasion I same age, I snapped my leg in two jumping off a bunk bed. And thirdly, I had been sexually abused. After that age, I was never the same. I also came from an extremely dysfunctional family with an alcoholic parent. I was neglected as a child and growing up, invalidated. I had no self esteem, I thought I was helpless, unlovable, I learned to hate myself, distrust myself, make terrible choices for myself because I believed it when loved ones name called me the black sheep, the fuck up, I would self medicate by smoking pot 24/7 throughout my teens. It was not until I started going to college 0_O (it took that long) to really realize something was really out of whack with myself.I didn’t value myself and exposed myself to risky situations, I was promiscuous for some time. I failed to gain experience expressing emotions, this is something I’m still getting used to, I did a lot of studying on the mind, I studied for three years before recently going back to therapy. I’ve been learning to be self aware. I am now shedding those protective factors that allowed me to survive those years. Looking back, even though I am what some people would consider attractive, my personality is “skittish” – what I’m working on to piece back together. I lived a long lonely, depressing, negative, split, aloof life. I’ve learned and am learning. Now I feel blessed to have pursued a path to healing. I’ve learned to let go of blame, forgive my family, forgive myself, learn to love myself, lift my self esteem, set positive goals for myself, calm my attitude, be positive, and just feel, feel what it is life to feel without any negative repercussion, I’m letting go. I would encourage any person, young or old, who suffer from exposure to trauma and violence, to learn to seek help… there is hope to recovering and living a full life. It’s never too late, and you are not alone. I don’t know if I made complete sense, but it feels good to put down and let go. Peace and Love, May God/Universe Bless.

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