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WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Crazy Like a Fox

comment | October 10th, 2012

different

(by NK, 19)

There are times when I think I'm crazy.  I don't mean like psych-ward crazy (that's my cousin and it's sad) just that I'm tweaked a bit.  Everyone's always called me "weird" and I've always kind of agreed with them.  I mean I get what they see because I don't see things the way any of my friends do.  I've always felt like I'm different.  Does this make any sense?  {end story}

Far be it for us to say if it makes sense, but, um, well...

So here's the question...you ever think you're a little tweaked?  That you zig while others zag?  Ever been seen as weird?  What was (is) that like for you?

 

#bodiesMy Biggest Insecurity

6 comments | September 13th, 2012

chestist sad

(story submitted by Allie P., a 16 yo Chestist)

Allie may only be 16 but - sadly - nothing about how she's feeling is limited by age.  We'd bet that at least most of us have (and sometimes still do) felt this way.  How do you deal with what she's feeling?  How have you gome from feeling like shit for what you're not to feeling good about what you are?   Remember, if you share your story maybe you can help change hers.

My stomach, my chin, my butt, my thighs, everything about me is horrible. I just feel that everyone else is so much thinner and prettier, and there is no one that will accept who i am. I'm finally understanding myself a little better, but my body is still my biggest worry and insecurity. {end story}

#bodiesSelf-Loathing, Just Like Mama Taught Me

10 comments | July 12th, 2012

Chestist Shares

(story submitted as a comment, by Lana a Chestist, and reposted here, now)

The writer first posted this as a comment to our story on Mothers, and what they teach us about ourselves - for good and ill.  Here's her story:

When I was 14, my mom told me that, for her, 130 lbs was "big." At that time, I weighed about 165 lbs. In that moment, I wanted to kill myself.

She wasn't telling me to lose weight, she was expressing her own dissatisfaction with her body. My mom has a curvy hourglass figure - she's wears a 32DD Bra and size 12 pants. Her waist is tiny but she has our family's hips bodacious booty. My whole life, my mother talked about food, and she still does. She decides to "hate" foods that have "too much fat," like cheesecake, which, I recently found out, she actually loves but told me that she hated it my whole life. She won't even drink a latte because it has "too much milk." She has been on Weight Watchers my entire life and when we went around the table ...

Happy HatingI Want To Please Myself

3 comments | July 9th, 2012

exploding flowers

(story submitted by So Tired, a 31 yo Chestist)

I'm so fucking tired of worrying about how I look, how I come off, what people will think of me.

When I was younger all I wanted to do was please everyone.  Now I just want to be able to please myself and I don't know how because I'm too wrapped up in what "they" think. {end story}

It can be easy to focus on "them" and what they think when you should be focusing on you.  Tell us, how do you do it?  Any tips?

 

 

#bodiesIn The Mind’s Eye

9 comments | May 17th, 2012

boom

(submitted by Chan, a Chestist, an OOC rewwind)

Sometimes what we think we see and what we think others see may not be the same thing.  Sometimes that's good; sometimes it sucks.  Here's what one reader sent us:

"I have this... thing where, in my mind's eye, I'm thinner than I actually am.  Catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror can be devastating.  It's not that I don't know I'm overweight: I just don't *see* myself that way, so when it's shoved in my face, it's startling to say the least." [end of story.]

Does anyone else have this mind's-eye glitch? What's the difference - if any - between what you see in the mirror and what's in your mind's eye?

Happy HatingBecause I’m…

5 comments | May 13th, 2012

different

(story submitted anonymously by a 23 yo Chestist)

Sometimes I feel less desirable because I'm black, isn't that terrible? {end story}

Have you ever felt less "desirable" because of a part of what you are?  Are there others you find less desirable because of what they are?

#lifestagesI Feel Inadequate

9 comments | May 7th, 2012

green eyed

(submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

I...don't know what I'm doing. I feel stupid and inadequate because everyone else seems to know who they are and what they want and I'm just not confident enough in myself to do the same.

I feel like a failure; a failure who sits on her computer all day watching others live their wonderful lives and can only think 'I can do that' but doesn't have the balls to do it. {end story}

You ever felt like you're on the outside looking in?

#lifestagesStop Comparing Yourself

2 comments | January 30th, 2012

chestist swirl

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

It seems to be an unforunate part of the human condition that we compare ourselves to others - sometimes to make oursleves feel better, but often to make oursleves feel less than and worse.  Buzzkill.  Here's one younger reader's story - and advice:

We're always comparing ourselves with others. I don't know why we girls do this, maybe it's just the way it is. We never really believe it when people say were pretty or smart or something. When my friends or other girls complain about how fat they are I look at them and I look at me. A lot of times they're skinnier than me and I think - wow if they're fat then what am I? There is the first step of self conciousness.

Then when others bag on how ugly they are I look again and compare and think - well they're prettier than me so what am I? Everytime someone says something bad about themselves I ask myself if they're better or worse than me.  Eventually you stop believing what good things others say about you ...

#bodiesMade My Day

3 comments | January 30th, 2012

boobs

(story submitted by Flat Girl, a Chestist)

Here's a happy tale, from what we presume is one of our younger readers.  But no matter your age, feeling good about being you is what we're all about.  Here's "Flat Girl" speaking her truth:

I'm finally going to say this. I'm flat-chested. Very. 32-A!

I've always been tormented for how puny I am. My sister used to call me a 'concentration camp kid'. I'm not anorexic. I'm just tiny. Women with big breasts always seem to get the men. Always. Not just in movies, in real life too!

Then one day, I was shopping for bras. I was embarrassed because I had to buy the smallest ones. But a woman working at the store came up to me and was so nice.  She told me not to be embarrassed, and helped me pick out some really cute ones. She told me she used to be just like me, afraid to change in the locker room. Then she pointed out how many beautiful women are flatchested too! She made me feel so good, now I show off my chest like they ...

#lifestagesIt’s Just Really Complicated.

13 comments | January 21st, 2012

chestist sad

(submitted by Alia, a Chestist.  Oringinally posted in May, and again today)

Ok, this is us @OOC being serious.  This story was submitted by a young girl who's clearly, really and deeply struggling.  And we're printing it because we want her to know we're all listening, and maybe some of us have something to say or share based on our own experiences and the roads we've traveled that can help her, or others like.  Here's what she says:

"Anorexic, hated, quiet, shy, Cancerian, in love, awkward, easily embarrassed, cut myself, hit myself, choke myself, make myself cry, cry every night, proper loner although i have a boyfriend who I love ...

#bodiesPuberty, Part 2

3 comments | January 18th, 2012

bam

(submitted anonymously, by an 18yo Chestist)

You know that line from the Godfather..."just when you thought you were out, they suck you back in again"?  Seems this reader's finding herself in a similar position...

They're growing. Shit. Just when I became comfortable with my B cups and realized that they were in absolute perfect proportion with the rest of my body, they started growing. Holy shit. I'm 18. This is not supposed to happen.  {end story}

Hers isnt the first story we've heard like this, but let's consider it more broadly, whaddaya say?  Have you ever gotten comfortable with something and BAM it (or you) changes again?  When was it, what was it, how'd you deal with it?

#lifestagesTrapped

9 comments | January 14th, 2012

chestist enthralled

(submitted anonymously by a Chestist.  oringinally in May, again today)

To start with, let's get this out of the way. I am a college age girl (I do consider myself a girl because, let's face it, I am far from a woman when I spend my favourite Thursday nights colouring with my friends) with ADD and Anxiety Disorder NOS. I feel so incredibly trapped by these conditions. I want to scream every time I want to focus, but can't, or can't tear myself away from something distracting. I want to, and frequently do cry when something that I see my friends brush off makes me so uncertain of my own ability to get through. Anything unknown in my life sends fear and panic right through me. There are so many negative things bubbling up in me, threatening to burst. Am I alone in this? I feel it so often, I'm more surprised when it's gone than when the fear is there. And yet, it feels a bit better to talk about, even though that talking hurts.  {end story}

...

#bodiesBody Image is Hating on Men’s Happy

5 comments | January 11th, 2012

expectations

(submitted by OOC via Blisstree.com)

Here's a bit of gender equality that can't make anyone happy - even if misery does love company.  Men are increasingly and rapidly becoming ever more dissatisfied with their own bodies and body image.  The original article points to this most recent data out of the U.K. based on a survey of 400 men:

80.7% of men use language that promotes anxiety about their body image (i.e. referring to physical flaws), compared with 75% of women. 38% of men would sacrifice at least a year of their life in exchange for a perfect body. 80.7% talked about their own or others’ appearance in ways that draw attention to weight, lack of hair or slim frame. 23% said concerns about their appearance had deterred them from going to the gym.

The author of the Blistree.com piece (read it here) offers the following thoughts: "the study is fairly narrow, so to be honest, I wouldn’t take most of those numbers at face value. But the study just confirms something we’ve known for awhile: That both men and women are increasingly unhappy with their bodies, in part because, well, everyone’s getting ...

#bodiesOh, The Things I Would Do

8 comments | January 9th, 2012

chestist threads

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

I'm a gemini, and my rising sign is leo. You'd think I'd be the most narcisistic person ever and very very sociable. Well... I wish.

I'm not sociable at all. I do have some friends, people who know the real me, but that's all. I rarely make any new friends, I'm shy. I don't post my pictures on the Internet. I don't flirt with boys I like. Ah, and I LOVE anonymity.

Three or four years ago I realized what was holding me back. Guess what? I don't think I'm pretty and I wanted to please people's eyes.  Oh, the things I would do if I was pretty... I mean, if I FELT pretty.  Actually I don't really care what others think. I know that nobody is demanding prettiness from me, I AM. But I don't know how to change my mind... I don't even know if I want to.  {end story}

Anyone have any advice for our writer?  Any of you ever think what you would do if only you were other than who and how you are now?  What would you ...

#bodiesSay Cheese

50 comments | August 30th, 2011

cheese

(story by the amazing @MIr from Woulda Coulda Shoulda.com)

A few years back, my mother gave me my baby book. Inside I found twelve years of school pictures, and with them I could make a virtual flip book to page through my formative years. I could watch my hair go from short to long and back again. I could watch my wide, happy smile go from baby teeth to a jumbled mixture of permanent and temporary teeth and then... my smile disappeared for a while. It returns---post-orthodontia---at the end of high school. But even then, it's different.

It's not just that my teeth are straight in the later photos, either. You can see that I don't smile as widely or easily as I used to. The unselfconscious glee from my early days is just gone.

There's an argument to be made that very few of us retain our happy-go-lucky "oh yay, a camera! LOOK AT ME!" joy past kindergarten. Age and maturity mellow and dilute our enthusiasm, of course. But for me it wasn't just a getting-older thing. It was a growing awareness of my teeth and how prominent they were.

"Don't ...

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