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WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Happy HatingI Want To Please Myself

3 comments | July 9th, 2012

exploding flowers

(story submitted by So Tired, a 31 yo Chestist)

I'm so fucking tired of worrying about how I look, how I come off, what people will think of me.

When I was younger all I wanted to do was please everyone.  Now I just want to be able to please myself and I don't know how because I'm too wrapped up in what "they" think. {end story}

It can be easy to focus on "them" and what they think when you should be focusing on you.  Tell us, how do you do it?  Any tips?

 

 

Happy HatingHow Do I Cope?

3 comments | July 5th, 2012

chestist sad

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

my dad's a drunk...

...although i have many great people who are willing to talk to me or just listen. im so tired of them acting like they know how i feel or that its gonna get better. IM. SO. TIRED. OF. IT. because they dont! they dont know how it feels to be scared coming home from school, or being embarassed to have your friends over because your dads passed out in the living room, etc. and STOP TELLING ME ITS GONNA GET BETTER. because its not! the only way its gonna get better is if he wants to get better and he doesnt. he doesnt. so no dont tell me you know how it feels. i get that everyone has problems but no one should have to live with this because it SUCKS. it really does...the thing is, my mom and i both want to leave but we cant unless we want to be broke...how do i cope with this...i dont know what to do and i want it all to stop. {end story}

When you can't fix ...

Happy HatingI Shouldn’t Have Said Those Things

4 comments | July 2nd, 2012

Screen Shot 2012-07-02 at 8.15.06 AM

(story submitted by Arrested Development, a 28 yo Chestist)

(image by Carl James Ferraro)

Really, how old am I?  The answer is 28 but based on how I handled myself the other night it'd be reasonable to think 14.

I was having a fight with my boyfriend for the too-many-th time.  We've both known this relationshio was over, just neither of us wanted to end it going into summer.  You're practically supposed to be dating someone in summer.  Making out on the beach, having sex in the pool, spending warm nights outside, all that stuff.  Like 2 Ostriches, we both have just stuck our heads in the sand and kept going.

Then I just snapped.  All the things he'd been doing that have annoyed me for so long just piled up and the camel's back broke.  Rather than handle it like an adult, I found myself name-calling, insulting, and not being very nice at all.  At all. 

Maybe I was angrier than I thought, even thenm I don't think that's an excuse for telling him he's a bad lover (he ...

Happy HatingBack-Stabbed By My BFF

7 comments | June 29th, 2012

girl on girl violence

(story submitted anonymously, by a chestist)

I talked my husband into recommending my BFF for a job at his company, the best job she's ever had, and she got him fired. 

She stopped speaking to us after she got the job and began her own agenda.  We've just purchased a house and have a special needs child at home so our savings is all gone.  I have so much hurt, anger and hatred in my heart for her I can't sleep.  I just don't understand how someone that we helped out could be such a self centered, egotistical, selfish person. 

I've lost trust in everyone, and don't believe a word anyone says anymore.  I'm surprised that my husband has forgiven me for ever introducing her into our lives.  I just have to get this "off my chest".  {end story}

There's probably little that can hate on your happy more than the betrayal of a friend, unless that betrayal also hurts your husband and your family.  Not cool.  Have you ever been backstabeed like our writer?  have you ever done the backstabbing?  How'd you ...

Happy HatingLying Liars

1 response | June 28th, 2012

lies

(story submitted anonymously by a Chetsist)

I've just broken up with the most dishonest person I've ever known.  I look back and can see so many lies told.  None of them were huge in and of themselves.  All of them add up to huge and to it being so clear I can't trust this guy at all.  So many little lies.  Too many.

I always had had a sense, and then when I caught him in the first lie I didn't do anything.  I should have.  Then once that one was clear and out, all the others become easier to see until it became intolerable.  I think it should have been intolerable a long time ago.  It makes me angry at myself for being so desperate for something to work that I totally ignored that it wasn't and couldn't.

Part of me wants to tell everyone we know what a liar he is.  I won't though.  Now I'm out and moving on, and I will not make the same mistake again.  Liars suck. {end story}

You ever been the victim ~ or the perpetrator ~ of ...

#lifestagesHappiness Makes Old Age Cooler

2 comments | June 27th, 2012

Get Busy Living

(OOC via psychologytoday.com)

This getting older thing can be funny.  Seems few of us want to do it, and our milestone birthdays often seem like millstones around the necks of our happy (or maybe it's just our longevity).   It's stranger still when you consider, as this reasearch did , that it's those over 60 who are the happiest amongst us.  Or at least they're the happiest amongst the Brits, where the research was conducted.  From the psychologytoday article:   "Research on the happiness of different age groups in the UK has found - surprisingly, it might seem at first - that it's actually the over 60s. This research showed that happiness levels are quite high in the 20s, then dip through the 30s and reach their lowest point in the mid-forties. But after 50, they start to rise, and continue rising through the 60s, when they become even higher than young people's. Similarly, a recent world wide survey found that, so long as they are in fairly good health, 70 year ...

Happy HatingEmpty

6 comments | June 25th, 2012

road back

(story by GLH, a Chestist)

My emotional tank is on empty.  {end story}

This is a short story to be sure, but probably one to which a lot of us can relate.  When you feel like this what do you do to help yourself feel more better?

#thecumulativeeffectMore Sexual Double Standards

6 comments | June 21st, 2012

different

(story submitted by Kara, a 17 yo Chestist)

My friend decided to fool around with a guy friend of hers. He told everyone about it and her reputation is down the toilet. His, on the other hand, has never been better. It's unfair how girls are condemned for the same things that guys are praised for.  {end story}

We shared another sexual double standard story earlier this week.  There's no denying the double standard exists, but let's spend more time on why it's so.  Why does her reputation suffer while his is enhanced ~ all for doing the same thing?  Penises and vaginas, let's discuss.  

Happy HatingI Still Want a Dad Though

13 comments | June 14th, 2012

chestist black scratch

(story submitted anonymously, by a 20 yo Chestist)

My whole life I've basically loved my dad more than my mom. I feel horrible for sharing that.  i mean i love them the same i just showed the love more to my dad. My dad was scary at times but i just couldn't help but love him still and when he was nice and sweet it reassured my love. He paid for everything, always was the man of the house.  he was strict and i never wanted to get him mad, and you know what writing this now actually has made me realize that maybe i loved him more or cared for him more because he had expectations and my mom didn't.

It was almost like a challenge to stay within his love lines i guess you can say, i didn't want to cross that line and have him be disappointed. that was life up to a month or so ago. It turns out he's been seeing another woman behind my mom's back. Everything just stopped.  i didn't want to be loved by him any more.  there ...

Surrounded By Youth and Beauty

6 comments | June 13th, 2012

Mic

(story submitted by Mirror Stalker, a Chestist)

I'm no Homecoming Queen but I used to think I was "cute".  Lately it's like I'm surrounded by youth and beauty and it makes me feel old and unattractive.  Every where I look, I see women skinnier thsn me, prettier than me, younger than me, and looking like they're having more fun than me.

I don't know if it's that I'm turning 35 in a few months, or living in New York, or working in the industry I do.  It's not about having a guy, it's about feeling pretty and confident when I look in the mirror or see my reflection in a store window.  I can't stand comparing myself to other women but I have been and not favorably.  I'm seriously thinking about cosmetic "enhancements" to look younger and feel prettier. {end story} 

How we feel about how we look can influence our happyness and self-confidence in so many ways (go ahead, you can quote us on that).  You find yourself comparing you to others?  You ever win that competition or is it alwys self-defeating? 

Happy HatingI’m Not A Mind Reader

10 comments | June 12th, 2012

brain

(story submitted by Michelle T, a Chestist)

I'm not a mind reader.  I don't know what you want or are thinking unless you tell me.  I can try my hardest to figure it out.  I can guess and look for the signals but I can not read your mind. I do not know why you expect me to.  It is not fair. {end story}

We don't know who in her life Michelle's talking about, but we do know that sometimes some people think that if they think it we should get it just through osmosis.  We can all also be guilty of doing the same thing ourselves every now and agin, no?  You ever expect anyone to read your mind?  Anyone in your life expect you to be reading theirs (partners, bosses, husbands, friends...).  Do tell.

Love & SexEmotionally Abused

5 comments | June 11th, 2012

chestist sad

(story submitted anonymously, by a 31 yo Chestist)

When i realized that he had been emotionally abusing me, i called him on it. i told him it had to stop or i'd leave. he did stop, and sometimes i wish i'd left anyway. i don't think i'll ever be able to move on or trust him again.  {end story}

Can you have a healthy and happy relationship without trust?  If trust is lost...can you find it?

Happy HatingHow Do You Deal With Anger

6 comments | June 9th, 2012

black explosion chestist

(story submitted by Pissed, a Chestist)

I am pissed.  Lately though I feel like I'm always feeling that way.  The thing is I'm getting so angry in my professional life that it's spilling over into my personal life and I don't know how to stop it from happening. 

Too many people aren't doing what they say, not listening, or not doing things well.  I get so frustrated and angry and then when I should be off doing something totally unrelated, I'm still frustrated and angry and it just sucks.  I want to leave it where it belongs, at work.  {end story}

How do you deal with anger (and/or frustration) so that it doesn't follow you like a shadow?

#lifestagesNot As It’s Supposed To Be

9 comments | June 3rd, 2012

black

(story submitted by CHN, a Chestist)

I just graduated from college.  I don't have a job and I have no prospects.

I think I have to move back in with my parents, which means I have to leave the city, boy, and friends I love.  I'm educated, smart, and I got good grades.  Why does the future seem so bleak?  This is not how it was supposed to go.  (end story}

Whether you've just graduated or not, there are times when things don't seem like they're going as they're supposed to...what do you do?  How do you cope and/or turn them around? 

Happy HatingRisk Losing

5 comments | June 3rd, 2012

Chestist Sun, red and black

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

When I was a kid I was really competitive.  If i didn't win I sulked, no matter if it was Candy Land, soccer, tennis, boys, grades or anything.

Lately though, I find myself competition averse.  If it comes down to winning or losing, I do not even want to play.  Sometimes I wonder if it is a reaction to when I was younger.  The thing is I think I need to be more competitive since everyone else is.  Can I win if I don't risk losing?  {end story}

Are you competitive?  Does losing hate on your happy, motivate you to play harder, or make you not want to play at all?

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