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WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Love & SexA Friend of A Friend

1 response | May 15th, 2012

concerned

(story by T, a 28 yo Chestist)

Everything was going really well.  We've been living together for 2 years and I was so sure we were going to get married.  Now I'm not.

It's too obvious to say he's perfect for me I just think he might be.  At least I used to.  Then one night a few months ago we met her, a friend of a friend, and I could tell immediately there was something between them.  There wasn't actually anything between them they'd just met.  There was something though.  It sounds as dumb as saying he's perfect for me but I could see them connect on some unspoken level.  Like I think true-love happens.

It was obvious.  They were glued to each other for the rest of the night.  I know it was only talk because I was there. Since then it's been different between us. I don't think it's in my head, I think it's in his.  The thing is, I think he may be falling in love with another girl.  I'm not even mad, I'm jealous and sad.

I've tried to bring it up ...

Love & SexConfidence Wrecker

9 comments | May 5th, 2012

danger

(submitted anonymously by a Chestist, an OOC rewiind)

"Why does he still need to constantly talk to his ex?  He claims they're trying to be friends but why would you WANT to be friends with a girl that cheated on you? What does she have that I don't?  I'm always afraid he'll go back to her even though I did nothing wrong.  It's such a confidence wrecker and ruins my entire day." {end story}

Can you relate?  Any advice?  You think a relationship like this is heart-ache waiting to happen?

 

 

Happy HatingUnder the Influence

6 comments | May 3rd, 2012

WTF Burst

(story submitted anonymously, a Chestist)

Everything was going along fine, I was feeling good, until this one guy at work who's known to be a jerk asked me if I'd gained weight.

Forgetting the whole inappropriateness of the comment, what's been sticking with and annoying me is that since he said it a week or so ago, I think about it everytime I see myself in a morror or catch my reflection somewhere.  Yes, I've gained a little weight but I don't really care about that.  I'll take it off, put it back on, take it off, whatever.  What I care about is that some jerk's words stick with me.  What I wonder about is why I'm so influenced by the negative words of people I don't care about and yet ignore and am usually so un-influenced by the words and opinions of people I do care about.

Why's some idiot have more of a negative influence than some one I love has a positive one? {end story}

#lifestagesWhen Family Goes Missing

7 comments | April 25th, 2012

chestist swirl

(submitted anonymously, by a 39yo Chestist) Is your family together?  Here's her story:

I have two daughters...1 is three years old and one is seven months...how do I empower myself to get family back together and strengthen ties for these precious beings with their uncle, aunt and most importantly...their cousins. Daughters, girls, women, mothers, sister in laws cannot sit back anymore and allow possible family connections and memories to disappear. Suggestions PLEASE.  {end story}  

Thanksgiving tensions aside, our extended familes can be an important part of giving our kids - to say nothing of ourselves - a sense of the past that helps contextualize the present.  How close is your exnteded family?  Does it feel more like obligation, habit, or joy?  Any advice for our writer?  Remember, you can help change her story if you share yours.

Love & SexMy Heart Aches

10 comments | April 25th, 2012

kiss

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

I broke up with him for all the wrong reasons.  It's only now that I realize it but he's moved on.  My heart aches without him.  My heart aches for him. {end story}

There's little that can so fully and completely hate on your happy like heart ache.  Most of us have been through it.  What's your story?

#lifestagesLosing My Dad

6 comments | April 23rd, 2012

chestist sad

(story submitted by "his girl", a Chestist)

My dad is sick and probably not going to make it much longer at all.  When I think about being in a world without him I get physically ill.  I know it can sound strange to describe your father as your best friend.  My dad is my best-friend though.

Growing up, there was nothing I couldn't say to him, tell him, share with him or ask him.  My mom and I were close (she died 6 years ago) but my father and I have always been so connected.  My husband loves him, and my children love their grandfather so much.  He is such a part of our lives and my life that I feel so lost already.  Who wil I turn to?  Who will I share with?  Who will listen to me and understand me the way he always has?

I know I'll always be his girl.  I just don't want him to leave yet.  I don't think I'll ever be ready. I know I'm not now. {end story}

Ever lose someone you were beyond close with?  How'd you get past it?  Have you been ...

Happy HatingKeeping Me Small

8 comments | April 12th, 2012

Chestist typewriter 2

(story submitted by Tara, a 26 yo Chestist) 

i'm so scared that i don't know what i'm doing.

is this relationship holding me back and keeping me small?

should i be pursuing this career or am i crazy?

i just want to feel loved, nurtured and supported.

why do i feel like i can't provide that for myself? seeking strength right now. {end story}

Tara's wants and worries seem so relatable to us.  Have you ever felt like she does?  Can you relate?  How'd you get past it?  Or are you still swimming in it? 

Let's #discuss and get it off our chests. 

#chestismsMother May I?

7 comments | April 12th, 2012

Sketch 2011-01-30 18_54_33

(submitted by OOC)

If Sue Sylvester can have this kind of insight, thinkn what the rest of us are capable of: "You know when I finally began to like who I am?  When I decided to stop trying to please you." ~ (Sue to her mom)

You spend your time more worried about pleasing others than you are about pleasing yourself?  What do you think is the right balance?  Go on and #discuss.  We're listening.

#lifestagesBullied at 42

11 comments | April 4th, 2012

chestist sad

(story submitted by Mary, a 42 yo Chestist)

We may all grow older, but we don't all grow up.  Here's Mary's story:

Hi, I need advice.

I had a group of college friends (I'm now 42), we were all close. But I was the only one who didn't get married. I went through a depression, gained a lot of weight and basically went through hell. The ring leader "T" went of of her way to ensure everyone knew I gained all this weight and was depressed (instead of coming to me and saying how are you). Then apparently weird, lies were being told.

All I know is I got fat and depressed. But to hear weird lies, devastated me. I now do not speak to any of them. During my hardest days, they never called or came by, but many  said"Oh, "T" is saying a lot about you. It has isolated me and I am so sad. Their true colors came through.

My question is do I call "T" and give her my mind? Here's the deal, she will just protect ...

Love & SexNot Ready to Go

10 comments | April 2nd, 2012

poof

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

Ever been in love but not in-sync sexually?  That's the story she's living - with her husband.

i used to always be ready to go when it came to me and my spouse. but now i have no want ever! and it's just not good anymore, and i dont know why but i never ever ever get turned on.  The  things that used to dont now....

Why am i feeling like this!?!?!?!  I know im in love but.... i dont know what to do.  {end story}

Any advice?  Ever found yourself running out of sexual steam for your partner?  What'd you do?  Share your story., won't you?

Love & SexI Married The Wrong Guy

7 comments | March 29th, 2012

chestist sad

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

I'm thinking about leaving my husband.  I think I married the wrong guy.  I'm still young, I don't want to spend my life waiting for him to be the man I thought he was.  I'm so afraid to give-up and afraid to be "divorced" before I'm 28. My mother would never let me hear the end of it.  What if I never find anyone else?  {end story}

Have you ever stayed in a relationship that wasn't working, just because you were afraid to get out of it?  Do tell...

 

Love & SexToo Soon To Marry?

6 comments | March 15th, 2012

kiss

(story submitted by Kristina, a Chestist)

Sometimes we get what we think we've always wanted only to find out maybe it's not what we want now.  Here's her story:

I'm engaged to a loving, wonderful man. But I find myself thinking about a friend of mine an awful lot. 

I wonder if I'm not in love with my fiance..or if it's my insecurity about myself. Am I really marrying someone I don't love....or do I just want to make sure I could get someone else if I wanted? He was my first boyfriend. Maybe I feel like he's the only one I could get, because I don't think I'm beautiful. He could have anyone...but I don't feel very chosen...and my friend makes me feel like a rare jewel.

I don't know. I'm still young and maybe I'm just not ready to submit myself to the will of another yet.  I've barely touched freedom to my lips and I'm giving it up before I even take a bite? {end story}

While we're pretty sure "submitting to the will of another" ought not be part of any marriage, we ...

Love & SexScared to Leave

16 comments | March 13th, 2012

chestist sad

(story submitted anonymously, by a 22 year-old Chestist)

We couldn't help but think of that Jack Nicholson line "you can't handle the truth."  Sometimes the truth is hard to handle.  Here's hers:

My story: I think my relationship is over and I'm too scared to leave. [end story.]

12 words, and a whole big story.  Ever been in her shoes, Chestists?  Knowing or at least being pretty sure something's over...a relationship, a friendship, a job...but being too scared to leave because of what may or may not be on the other side?  What was it?  What'd you do?  Sounds like sister could use some advice, so please, share...

#bodiesEVERY TIME!?! (Rated R)

21 comments | March 9th, 2012

WTF Burst

(submitted anonymously by a Chestist.  Posted 5.20.11 and again now)

This reader is getting if off her chest, though it sounds like that  may be the only place she's getting it off.  Her (very short) story is rated R.  We have a feeling she's not alone.  Is she?

"Do I have to show him where my clit is EVERY TIME??? " [end of story.]

What frustrates you in bed (or on the floor or...)  if he (or she) doesn't get where you want them to go, are you comfortable speaking your truth and showing them the way?

Remember, you can always comment anonymously.

 

#lifestagesNot Everyone With Depression Is a Quiet Kid

4 comments | March 1st, 2012

black explosion chestist

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

No matter how open-minded and conscious we may be, we can all fall back to judging books by their covers and people by what we see sometimes.  But, we're reminded by this story that never know anyone's real story until they share it. She shares hers here:

When you can convince people you are shallow, no one bothers jumping in.

When the surface is shiny, no one looks beyond.

Sometimes it's the ditzy sugar-coated valley girls who are deeply unhappy. Not everyone with depression is a quiet kid who wears all black. Sometimes the best way to go unnoticed is to wear hot pink and contrary to popular belief, guys look at you less if you show some cleavage (no one's ever gonna look you in the eyes if you're givin em a free show). I hide behind popularity. I am not who I present myself to be. I'm not confident. I'm not vapid. I'm not stupid. I'm not happy. I'm not even a real blonde. I'm just a girl who's had way too much practice lying. I had to hide the bruises ...

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