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WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

#lifestagesEffing Rumors

3 comments | November 14th, 2011

mean girls

(story submitted by Kylan, a Chestist)

Message Body:

When I was 14 years old, my best friend decided to spread rumors around my whole school about me. Saying I had slept with some guy I just met, got pregnant, then aborted the baby. I did NONE of those things.

But the school believed the rumors, I guess lies were more fun then the truth. Girls we yelling at me, punching me, spitting on me, calling me names.. boys where sexually harrasing me, pushing me into walls, calling me names. I got really depressed with no friends and the school hating me. I grew suicidal.

Then I started talking to a counselor and got help. I was a victim of girl on girl meanness, and I'm not the only one. But I am one who survived it. And i say that lightly. Although I am ok now, I remember what state I was in. Life's tuff for everyone, no girl or guy has to make it tougher for anyone. No one deserves it. never will.  {end story.}  

Remember that old "sticks and stones may break my bones but words ...

Love & SexMarried to a Meth Addict

40 comments | November 11th, 2011

chestist sad

(story submitted anonymously, by a 22 yo Chestist)

So our first reaction as we read this, sent to us by one of you, was "wow.  how could she not know!?"  Then we realized we were judging and that love can blind us to even the most obvious of things.  Here's her story: I've been married with my husband for 3 years now. When i met him he was addicted to Crystal meth and weed. I am currently on my last year of college and i will be graduating with a bachelors in Criminal Justice.

When i met him and he told me about his addictions i told him that i could not be in a relationship with someone who does drugs because of my future career and simply because you cant have a family and live a normal life like that. He said he really liked me and that he was willing to quit, and that he had been looking for a reason to stop,and that i would be the reason he would stop.

So, i decided to give him a chance we started dating and everything was ...

Love & SexDon’t Call Me A Party Girl

5 comments | November 10th, 2011

party girl

(story submitted by 20SomethingWannabe, a Chestist)

The term "party girl" is basically the new socially acceptable way to say drunken slut.

It sounds casual and colloquial, but make no mistake, this is now a derogatory character description. But what exactly is a party girl? Is a party girl someone that goes out with their friends? Is a party girl the girl that becomes the sloppy mess falling down at the club? Is a party girl the girl that goes out to look for a hook up? Or can the party girl just be a girl who doesn't want to sit at home on the weekends?

Listen, all of the above can describe any girl. Some girls are just better about keeping their activities surreptitious. A guy is basically asking to figure out whether or not he will be able to fuck you the same night that he meets you.

But just because you go out doesn't mean that you are a "party girl" in the inebriated whore way. I hate it when people ask me "are you a party girl?" Do you mean do I like to be social? Or do ...

#lifestagesPutting ’em in Their Place

19 comments | November 8th, 2011

boom

(story by Mir, from Woulda Coulda Shoulda)

I have a soft spot in my heart for bullies. This wasn't always the case, of course. Nor am I some sort of Mother Teresa figure, now. It's just that time and age have taught me that happy, fulfilled people don't behave that way. People are mean because they hurt. As a theoretical concept, I sympathize. As an actual---say, as a kid beating up on my kid---well, my patience isn't quite so great. But I try.

Me, I was bullied as a kid. But the truth is that I also was sometimes the bully, myself. There is something intoxicating about having the power to wound someone when you, yourself, have been badly damaged. I get it. As a child, you don't think it through that way, of course. All you know is that it feels powerful. Just like all you know when it's being inflicted on you is that it hurts like hell.

This insight---if you can even call it that---came long after 99% of the situations wherein I needed it. My ...

Love & SexBeing Single

5 comments | November 7th, 2011

roy chestist

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

My 10th (ya read that right, TENTH) year of being single is fast approaching and it has really started me thinking.

(back up) When I say single, I mean completely (no dates, no boyfriends, no one nighters, no sleep overs) single. Got me thinking, is being single the rest of my life, honestly what I want anymore? Believe me, being single and staying single was absolutely a choice I made, and with a clear mind and an unwounded heart. I have had good and bad, short and long relationships and only one abusive relationship... It only took one pushing, shoving, slapping, foul-mouthed fight in a relationship for me to know, with everything in me, that I would NEVER allow that to happen again.

See, once I actually make up mind, 100%, with what I want or don't want, then it is on like Donkey Kong! I can do it and stick to it without a snag. It is the actual making up my mind completely that snags me every time.

I can still remember my first real crush, well kinda remember. I do know ...

Love & SexSO not fair.

7 comments | May 28th, 2011

UGC_2

(submitted anonymously by an OOC Chestist)

Sometimes we just can't quit you relates one anonymous OOC Chestist:

"It angers me when you walk out of my life and once I've come to terms with that you feel it necessary to squirm your way back in. SO not fair."  [end of story.]

It so isn't fair. But is it their fault for squirming our our fault for letting them back in?  How have you found the strength to move on?

Happy HatingThat Was MY Thing.

9 comments | May 22nd, 2011

UGC_2

(submitted by OOC reader Sara)

This reader's story is really intense on a Iot of levels.  We're all in this together, so please let her know if you can relate:.."I am so angry at my little sister for cutting herself. I spent five years telling her not to, telling her from long and painful experience that she didn't know what she was getting herself into, that it could become an addiction like mine. But the secret I keep is that I'm even more angry at her for copying me. That was MY thing. I never, ever, ever did it for attention, but eventually people did know, and then my stupid little sister copied me. I'm ashamed of how I feel, but I can't stop feeling it."

Pretty intense, right?  What parts of her story can you connect to, or not?  Any advice or words you can share?  We'd love to hear them.

 

Love & SexNot Supposed To

10 comments | May 15th, 2011

UGC_2

(submitted by an anonymous OOC reader)

Unrequited love can hurt like a mofo. One of our readers sent this in: "I'm in love with someone I'm not supposed to be in love with." [end of story.] 

Is there a "supposed to" when it comes to feelings? Have you been in a similar situation? Share your story. 

Happy HatingLiar

9 comments | May 10th, 2011

UGC

(submitted by OOC reader Gr4vl)

"I am absolutely tired of so-called friends calling me a liar. I mean really, who needs to know every single detail of a person's life?!

I don't tell you a few things and that suddenly makes me a mysterious liar who you can't trust...well you can take that bull somewhere else cause I will not be putting up with it.  Oh and next time you're in need of a good friend remember I'm a liar you can't trust."  Do you ever lie to your friends?  About what? 

Happy HatingTruly Terrible

8 comments | May 7th, 2011

UGC

(submitted by an anonymous OOC reader)

"Yesterday, a man who has disappointed and hurt me more times than I care to count over 10 years did something truly terrible to me. And instead of saying to myself 'This is a bad person', I said to myself 'I must be a bad person, undeserving, etc.' Why do we do this to ourselves?"

Love & SexBack Off, Asshole

6 comments | May 5th, 2011

UGC

(submitted anonomously) 

"I'm tired of being blamed for my friend's depression. He wanted to date me, I said no, and now he's in the pits of despair. Which happens with rejection, we've all felt it. But he's actually going around telling people that I put him in his state of depression, not the act of being rejected. He's even going so far as making stuff up about me and trying to get our mutual friends to side with him by way of these lies. I didn't do anything to him. I merely said "I don't think it would work out" and in a very polite tone too. What he's telling everyone: "She's destroying me. Every time I'm with her, she smothers my soul". I'm sorry he's hurt, I honestly am. But I'm tired of him blaming me for his feelings. I can't help that I don't think we're compatible romantically and it's not my problem that he was so attached to the idea. He put himself in this depression, my rejection of him may have contributed to his feeling ...

Happy HatingYou Screwed Me Over

13 comments | May 4th, 2011

UGC

(submitted by Kaitlin)

"you were my best friend. i told you everything and i did anything for you. i completely trusted you, and i trusted you not to talk behind my back,trusted you to not tell my secrets,not to lie to our mutual friends about my life. i trusted you because we were best friends,

i never said one damn bad word about you,but you screwed me over. friends improve our life,but you only showed me how evil and cruel some people are. thanks to you i am paranoid and worried that people will take what i say,and spin it. i see the world differently, and now my view is tainted.  you fucked my perception and now i trust no one, all because you wanted to be seen in a better light. i will keep being polite to you,but i learned from my mistake, you wont ever take fucking advantage of me ever again." ...

Happy HatingI Am Sad

6 comments | April 28th, 2011

ugc

(submitted anonymously by an OOC reader)

I am sad. Sad because things are not easier. I am sad because I haven't gotten it done. I am sad that people don't do what they should and I am sad because I keep hoping they will. I am sad that I am sad when I have so much to be grateful for and happy about. I am open and ready for change. Soon would be good. 

Love & SexWho Knew

5 comments | April 28th, 2011

ugc

(submitted anonymously by an OOC reader)

"I am surprised that I miss him so much." [end of story]

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