Work:Life Balance

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WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Happy HatingHow Do You Deal With Anger

6 comments | June 9th, 2012

black explosion chestist

(story submitted by Pissed, a Chestist)

I am pissed.  Lately though I feel like I'm always feeling that way.  The thing is I'm getting so angry in my professional life that it's spilling over into my personal life and I don't know how to stop it from happening. 

Too many people aren't doing what they say, not listening, or not doing things well.  I get so frustrated and angry and then when I should be off doing something totally unrelated, I'm still frustrated and angry and it just sucks.  I want to leave it where it belongs, at work.  {end story}

How do you deal with anger (and/or frustration) so that it doesn't follow you like a shadow?

#lifestagesNot As It’s Supposed To Be

9 comments | June 3rd, 2012

black

(story submitted by CHN, a Chestist)

I just graduated from college.  I don't have a job and I have no prospects.

I think I have to move back in with my parents, which means I have to leave the city, boy, and friends I love.  I'm educated, smart, and I got good grades.  Why does the future seem so bleak?  This is not how it was supposed to go.  (end story}

Whether you've just graduated or not, there are times when things don't seem like they're going as they're supposed to...what do you do?  How do you cope and/or turn them around? 

What I Really Want

5 comments | June 1st, 2012

Mic

(story submitted by Anna, a 38 yo Chestist)

I'm completely bored out of my skull by my job and work. I sit here at this office all day long doing nothing. I let the work pile up all week and then power through it easily all in one day - in just a couple of hours. I get paid very well. I'm miserable.

Today I'm doing something about it. No, not quitting this job - yet. I'm here early today and will stay on top of all my tasks from now on so that I may make room for bettering myself, creating a plan for WHAT I REALLY WANT and using this huge amount of down time to my advantage.

I'm tired of being sad 40 hours a week, feeling like a paralyzed lobster in an ever-hotter pot of boiling water. {end story}

First, big ups to Anna for taking control of her happy.  Do you use your down time or do you stew in it (like a lobster)?  

Why Can’t I Just Be Happy

5 comments | May 9th, 2012

happiness

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

I started a new job about 3 months ago and I'm so happy.  I'm learning and contributing.  I like my boss, like my co-workers and am making significantly more money.  It's all great so why is there this little voice in my head that keeps wondering when the honeymoon will be over.  Why can't I just be happy and in the moment?  {end story}

Does it ever seem like you're more present when things suck then when things are good?  When things are good and you feel great, do you swim in the happiness or keep witing for the other shoe to drop?

 

Happy HatingDownsized

5 comments | May 3rd, 2012

Chestist grunge

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

Losing a job can be hard. Thinking you're going to lose it and waiting to be told you have, well, that just sucks.  Here's her story:

My company is "downsizing".  I hate that word, "downsizing".  To me it's just a bad euphemism for "you're probably going to lose your job" and I'm so afraid I am.  Everyone's supposed to find out over the next few weeks.  I'll probably get an ulcer between now and then. 

I don't think the odds of being among those who aren't let go are that good.  I'm pretty realistic and know I'm only okay at what I do.  I'm okay with that.  I'm not okay with being unemployed and having to look for work and worry about money and cut-back on the very few small luxuries I allow myself now.  I'm not okay with that stuff at all.

It's also just like waiting for someone to die.  You know it's going to happen, but it's still weeks away.  How am I supposed to function while I wait for them to tell me I've been downsized? {end story}

...

#lifestagesA Stay-at-Home-More Mom

6 comments | April 11th, 2012

black explosion chestist

(submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

I was working at home the other night.  I was trying to squeeze in what I thought was a last email, and a final look at something I needed for the morning.  I was only focused on what I was doing when I notices my youngest, who's 5 standing in the kitchen staring at me.  As she notices me noticing her, she says "mommy, why do you always work?"  I thought I was going to die and just felt so guilty.

I began trying to explain why I work a lot but everything seemed to fall short of being relevant.  Then I began to wonder why I do "always work", and wondered what I've missed because of it.  My career is really just beginning.  I love what I do and I'm good at it.  I'm not suited to being a stay-at-home mom.  I wish I was.  I can't help but wonder if I can be a stay-at-home-more mom.

In the battle on how to spend my time, it seems like for sure there's always going to be a loser. {end story}

You have any thoughts ...

#lifestagesWork:Life Balance is a Myth

4 comments | April 5th, 2012

dude, wtf

(OOC via FastCompany)

Say what?  Work:Life Balance is a myth?!  Knock-us over with a feather.

That;s right, from the files of things we already know, "work-life balance is a myth."

According to the fastCompany story, this myth is "compels many of us to view an ideal life as a set of perfectly level scales. On the tray on one side is your personal life. On the other side is your work life. With heroic efforts, you can keep both trays exactly level. If one starts to tip too far, you make some kind of nifty move that balances them again.  In reality, that perfect balance almost never occurs, except for those rare, fleeting moments when the trays pass each other on the way up or down--and we’re too frazzled to appreciate that brief moment of self-actualization anyway."

We don't mean to be all cyncial but um, yea.  Live it, got it.  The article does continue to say that what we really want is control, and thatwe tend to confuse a want for control with a want for balance, and that makes sense.

What would you rather have ...

#bodiesNo Such Thing As Balance

8 comments | March 14th, 2012

ying yang

(story by OOC via psychcentral.com, first posted 8.29.11 and again now))

We bumped into this on our travels around the interwebs, really loved it, and thought you would too.  Here you go:

"I interviewed  a researcher about attaining a work-life balance. Her first words to me were: There’s no such thing as balance.

And trying to reach a so-called balance is akin to reaching perfection. In other words, it’s not going to happen, and we’re going to drive ourselves insane along the way..."

No here's where the article get's really interesting and provocative (to us, anyway).  The author, a body image blogger, begins to explore balance in the context of body image.  We dig her take...a lot.  Here she goes:

But when people say balance, I think what they typically mean is a happy medium or not residing on either side of the spectrum. At least that’s the way I view balance.  With body image, I see a deeply negative body image at one end of the spectrum – where you hate your body, ignore its signals and rarely look after it – and an unrealistically positive ...

#lifestagesNot a Good Fit

7 comments | February 17th, 2012

Chestist typewriter 2

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

Have you ever wanted - or needed - a job and not gotten it?  She has, and it sucks:

I just got *another* email informing me that while I interviewed well and the hiring manager liked me, I am not a good fit for the position. I feel like I keep getting so close and then ... SLAM, nothing. {end story}

It can be so hard to keep plugging along, trying to find that next job, that new job, and getting close but not getting it.  Has this ever happened to you?  How'd you kep your spirits up when they keep getting smacked down?  Remember, if you share your story you can help change hers.  Go on...  

#lifestagesHappiness @Work

comment | December 21st, 2011

happiness

(story by OOC via The Source)

Research involving 9,000 people globally on what makes for happiness @ work found that those amongst us who are happiest with our jobs:

Stay twice as long in them Spend 2x the amount of time at work focused on what they are paid to do Take 10x less sick leave Are 2x more likly to think they're achieving their potential

Happiness obviosuly (and you can quote us on this) has big upside for the indivudla and the enterprise.  Imagine that.  The reserach (conducted by the iOpene er Institute), found there are 5 key elements to feeling happy with what we do and its subsequent impact on how well we do it:

1. Contribution.

2. Conviction.

3. Culture.

4. Commitment.

5. Confidence.

While you can read the whole article here, we're wondering on a scale of 1-10 (ten being in-love with your job)  how happy are you at work?  Is it you, the job, or are you lacking - or is the company lacking - in one of the 5 things listed above?

And finally, how much does how happy you are at work spill-over into how happy you are generally?  ...

Happy MakingProfessional Difficulties, Overcome.

7 comments | November 8th, 2011

Mic

(story submitted by Goshawk, a 25 yo Chestist)

Work can sometimes be, well, work.  Whether it's office politics, finding the time to be great at what you do and still have a life, or dealing with career  challenges, it ain't always a bowl of cherries in and around the office.  Here's one reader's story:

I just worked through a really difficult time professionally - I failed a professional test. In my line of work, you only get to do that once before you're standing in front of a review board deciding if you're worth keeping.

As you can imagine, the upcoming training and re-test ate my life, and every day I seemed to have less and less confidence in my abilities. It was awful. I doubted my work ethic, my competence, my capabilities. I cried myself to sleep - I love this job and I can't think of anything I'd rather do with my life. The idea of failure was crushing, yet every day felt like it brought me closer to that finish.

But when it came to the re-test, as soon as I sat down to begin...I ...

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