Tell Her One Thing

3 comments | May 16th, 2012

chestist soup

(idea submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)  

We got this from one of you a couple of months back and have had it in our inbox since because we think it's a really good idea ~ we just couldn't figure out what to do.  Then, lo and behold, it occurred to what we always do, post it.  Easy right?  So here's an idea and a story-starter from one of you for the rest of us:

i think it would be really cool to do a mother/daughter thing on OOC, maybe ask people to submit something that they wish they could tell their mom or wish they could tell their daughter

Just in time for next year's mother's day, or maybe perfectly timed for today...whether for your mother, your daughter, whomever, share that one thing in the comments.  Remember, if you share your story maybe you'll help change hers.

And always let us know if you have any ideas about things and stories you'd like to see here @OOC.  We promise to move faster next time.


#lifestagesHer Last Mother’s Day?

8 comments | May 11th, 2012

chestist sad

(story submitted by Theresa, a Chestist)

This year's mother's day is bittersweet. On the one hand I derive much joy in my own role as mother. On the other hand I must accept that I am losing my mom, whom I admire and adore.

My mother has ALS, a gradual but unstoppable atrophying of her muscles. She lives in FL, I live in NYC- Skype keeps us in touch. It limits how much of her decline I see. But it's still happening, even if I can't see it.  In the last three months she has lost the ability to transfer out of and into her wheel chair. This newly revealed bit of info does not bode well in terms of her beating the "average" ALS patient's lifespan of 3-5 years. She was diagnosed just before my son was born. My son is two and a half.

I am expecting a second son this August, and as mother's day approaches, I have been aware that my mom is unlikely to get the chance to hold him. Perhaps her health will hold long enough for us to visit her and set an infant ...

#lifestagesWorst Day Ever.

5 comments | April 5th, 2012

chestist black scratch

(story by Nicole, a Chestist)

A few days ago we tweeted a question, asking what was the worst day you'd ever had.  Here's Nicole's story - about her 2 worst days ever.

My "worst" day got replaced with one even worse - it happened almost 2 years ago and shattered my reality.

At the time i was 38, the mother of two young children & married.  my parents' marriage was something i had always looked up to as the ultimate union - they were going to be celebrating their 40th year of marriage in the fall of 2010.  So when my father called me in May of that year to announce he was leaving my mom ---- i was not only shocked, but also very, very sad.  Not just for them, but for myself as well - my idealized version of their marriage was shattered.  i cried, my dad cried and then when my mom got on the phone, she just sounded numb.  She was as shocked as i was, as we all were.  My brother and his wife were completely caught off guard, as ...

#thecumulativeeffectLet’s Break Some Walls Down

4 comments | February 20th, 2012

exploding flowers

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

We love this...from 1 of you, anonymously, to all of us:

Let's love on each other. Let's break some walls down. Let's treat each other like family. Let's remember that we are all in this time and place together. Let's ditch the stereotypes and give everyone a chance. Atheists and believers. Black and white and brown and yellow. Republican and democrat and independent. Gay and straight, bi or TG. We're all just human. {end}  

Do you think we can do it, or have we become a hopelessly divided house?   Why, for so many, do our differences seem to foster disregard and dislike and not interest and acceptance?  What's up with that?  Ok, enough of our cynical observations.  Let's do as the writer says and "love on each other."  Who's in?

Happy MakingWhy We’re Here

2 comments | February 15th, 2012

yellow sun rays

This was a comment from Abbie, in reply to all of your replies to her story.

I don't know how to say thank you for this; for not wasting your experience or letting it corrode your faith in people. The fact that you have come to a place where you have confidence in the good in life and faith in the human race after what life has put you through is so encouraging and inspiring. {end}  

#lifestagesPost-Holiday, Then and Now

14 comments | December 27th, 2011

yellow sun rays

(story by Mir, from WouldaCouldaShoulda)

When I was a kid, Christmas was a Very Big Deal Indeed. This is actually pretty funny when you consider that we were Jewish (and not very religious), but my parents were willing to buy into the hoopla for us kids. We had a lot of plants in the house, and even some sort of potted pine in the corner of the living room. That became the de facto "Christmas tree," and on Christmas morning there was always a couple of gifts from Santa waiting for us beneath the pine.

We, of course, always went to the mall sometime before the holiday to sit on Santa's lap and tell him what to bring us. It was all very logical that way.

The build-up to the big day always seemed very suspenseful. First there were those last days of school before vacation---they always seemed to drag on and on---and then it was impossible to fall asleep on Christmas Eve. But finally the big morning would come and there it was: Our Santa present.

I ...

Love & SexChemistry

comment | November 10th, 2011


(This story originally appeared on Clarisse Thorn: Pro-Sex Outreach, Open-Minded Feminism.)

It's a long story and a short one, but I guess all of them are.

I'm 27. It's about that age: A lot of my compatriots are getting married lately -- most monogamously, some to a primary polyamorous partner. I myself have a stack of relationships in my past. Some were monogamous, some polyamorous. Some have been on-and-off, some short-term, some long-term (5 or 6 years was the longest). Lately I've been processing some tough questions about polyamory, but I'd like to stick with it.

And I've been thinking a lot about what I want in a primary polyamorous partner. The kind of guy I could marry. I wonder if I'll ever get to that point. I wonder if I'd know him if I saw him.  

* *

I met Mr. Ambition at one of the aforementioned weddings. Several people recommended that I talk to him, and we liked each other right away. Mutual friends used words like "zealot" to describe him; let's just say he's got an intense history of dedicated activism. Charisma, integrity, and ...

Love & SexBeing Single

5 comments | November 7th, 2011

roy chestist

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

My 10th (ya read that right, TENTH) year of being single is fast approaching and it has really started me thinking.

(back up) When I say single, I mean completely (no dates, no boyfriends, no one nighters, no sleep overs) single. Got me thinking, is being single the rest of my life, honestly what I want anymore? Believe me, being single and staying single was absolutely a choice I made, and with a clear mind and an unwounded heart. I have had good and bad, short and long relationships and only one abusive relationship... It only took one pushing, shoving, slapping, foul-mouthed fight in a relationship for me to know, with everything in me, that I would NEVER allow that to happen again.

See, once I actually make up mind, 100%, with what I want or don't want, then it is on like Donkey Kong! I can do it and stick to it without a snag. It is the actual making up my mind completely that snags me every time.

I can still remember my first real crush, well kinda remember. I do know ...