Love & SexMy BF’s Porn

22 comments | August 12th, 2012


(by Katie, a 25yo Chestist)

There's so much about this story sent us by one of you we think is important, let's just let her do the talking:

I don't know if I'm upset right now. Or even if I should be.

I hopped on the BF's laptop to check email this morning (his was on and I was lazy enough to not want to turn mine on) and saw he had some... ahem... visual aids... up in the tabs. Now, we have frequently used porn of various kinds as foreplay ("Do you like this? Why? Why not?") so me checking out what was selected has positive precedent with us.

But these were all "Barely Legal!" and "All Horny Teens!" sites... Not the usual variety pack of mid/latetwenties, obviously adult bodies. Im willing to enjoy the blanket assumption that all of these girls are fully legal and do this to support their own, noncoerced sexuality, but all I can see is the girls in the teen Girl Scout troop I volunteered with last year. I texted him to ask about it (nicely, I swear) and he called not ...

Happy HatingPissed

6 comments | August 10th, 2012

chestist black scratch

(by So Mad)

I get angry quickly.  It's like a reflex.  Someone does or maybe doesn't do something and, voila, anger and frustration are immediate.

I try and talk myself out of the emotion.  I know the anger doesn't serve me.  I can't though.  I just keep spinning and stewing in what made me pissed in the first place.  It doesn't help anything. {end story}

How do you get past anger and frustration?  Or do you stew in it like our writer?  Any advice?  Any questions?  Let's share.

(Oh, and for more thoughts on getting past anger go here.)

I See You Online

3 comments | August 8th, 2012

do you see me

(by anonymous)

I see you online and all the things you do for her that you didn't do for me and I wonder why. Is it you or was it me?  {end story}

Tell us, you ever find yourself bumping into the past online ~ and not feeling good about it?  Why do you still care?

(and here's another story from our archives about dating online.  We think you'll like it.)

No, Thank YOU

2 comments | August 5th, 2012


(by anonymous)

We got the note below here at FMB worldwide HQ from of one you.  It makes us feel good to help you guys feel better, so we wanted to share it and say thanks (and you're welcome). We're all in this together. ~FMB

I just want to say... Thank you for listening for caring for making me feel human or even better like a woman like a true woman. There's nothing wrong with you or me and i want to thank you for that, and all of this makes me feel beautiful.. :) {end note}


8 comments | August 3rd, 2012

exploding flowers

(story submitted by E, a 32 yo Chestist)

Oh, hello:

I had my first orgasm ever last night!  I'm 32!  I was alone!  I may never leave the house again!  {end story}

Is it easier for you to orgasm with or without a partner (if at all)? P.S. yay for E.

#bodiesNudity: The Great Equalizer

9 comments | July 27th, 2012

misery loves company

(by @Laurenne from HumansAreFunny.com)

A man crossed the street in front of my car yesterday. Since I was hiding behind my windshield, I had a rare opportunity to stare at him without the possibility of awkward accidental eye contact. He had what some call a FUPA, or Fat Upper Pussy/Penis Area.  It was as if he had a monster truck tire strapped into his underwear, and he had to hobble across the street with a cane in order to carry all that extra weight. I stared without shame and followed his body from the very bottom of his ankles up. And at the top, I saw his face (Obviously. If his face weren’t there, I would have screamed). His huge bottom lip sagged down as if it were pulled by the extra weight of his FUPA. His mouth hung open, surely sloshing fellow pedestrians with uncontrollable drool.

I wanted to run out of my car and talk to this man. I wanted to know what it’s like to grow up with such a FUPA and such an uncontrollable ...

Surviving Abuse

5 comments | July 23rd, 2012

black explosion chestist

(by Confused, a  Chestist)

I was in an abusive relationship for four years and it's taken me another four to deal with it after all the denial. I've been with my partner for almost three years and he really helped me come to terms with what happened.

It's been a relief to deal with it, but now I feel like I can't mention it to him, or else it means I'm not over it. I'm having a really hard time setting sexual boundaries with him because of it and some innocent things will make me feel terrible - but I can't tell him. This is just so stupid. How do I say I'm over it while still asserting myself as a survivor??? {end story}


Happy HatingI’m Not Pregnant

3 comments | July 22nd, 2012


(by anonymous, a Chestist)

Yesterday, after enjoying a lovely cup of tea with some friends, an elderly man who had been at the restaurant since before we got there interrupted us to ask, "So when are you due?" Needless to say (or, I suppose, not so needless), I'm NOT pregnant.

I quickly signed my receipt and stormed out before the other patrons could see my face flush red. When I got home I dropped my purse, tore off my shoes and started weeping into my fiance's arms. I'm trying so hard to lose weight for our wedding...and for my health and my life...and it seems like in every candid photo, every walk by a mirror, I seem to have gained weight. What's worse, with every word of comfort my fiance tried to say, a louder voice in my head made a counterpoint in middle-school-mean-girl fashion. When I tried to tell my fiance about the voice, he said, "Tell it it can't stay. No one is allowed in this bed but you and me."

And the voice chimed in with, "Only because no one else could fit." {end ...

Happy MakingFeeling More Better: A List

6 comments | July 19th, 2012

chestist enthralled

(by Anonymous, a Chestist)

You know what makes me feel more better?  People who care.

Friends who act like it.

Random acts of niceness.



A nice sales-person.

A great dinner.

Delicious sex.

The feeling of falling in love.

The smell of a thunderstorm.

A great pair of shoes.


Another great pair of shoes.

Meeting someone who likes what I like.

Spending time with someone who makes me think differently.

Finding my way when I'm lost -- literally and figuratively.

A good book.

Great music.

Feeling good about me. {end story}

What makes you feel more better?


Happy MakingCultivating Happyness?

6 comments | July 17th, 2012


(OOC via Psychology Today)

Like Juliet calling for Romeo, if you're like us, there are times when you find yourself wondering wherefore art thou, oh ever increasing happiness? 

According to this article, part of our challenge may be that we define happiness as a result or conequence of something else that needs to happen first.  So, as they ask in the original, which comes first for you: happiness or success?  From the original:

"My guess is that you have already answered that question several times today. You answer it every time your brain says, "I'll be happy when I find a job." "I'll be happy when I get a promotion." "I'll be happy when my dissertation is finished."

The formula is clear: work harder, then you'll be successful, then you'll be happier....'I'm working my butt off now so I can be happy when...[fill in the blank with a six figure banking job, make a scientific breakthrough, get into medical school, etc.].'

Well, if that's the bad news, the Psychology Today story also serves up a fresh plate of the good news...it's all ...

#bodiesSelf-Loathing, Just Like Mama Taught Me

10 comments | July 12th, 2012

Chestist Shares

(story submitted as a comment, by Lana a Chestist, and reposted here, now)

The writer first posted this as a comment to our story on Mothers, and what they teach us about ourselves - for good and ill.  Here's her story:

When I was 14, my mom told me that, for her, 130 lbs was "big." At that time, I weighed about 165 lbs. In that moment, I wanted to kill myself.

She wasn't telling me to lose weight, she was expressing her own dissatisfaction with her body. My mom has a curvy hourglass figure - she's wears a 32DD Bra and size 12 pants. Her waist is tiny but she has our family's hips bodacious booty. My whole life, my mother talked about food, and she still does. She decides to "hate" foods that have "too much fat," like cheesecake, which, I recently found out, she actually loves but told me that she hated it my whole life. She won't even drink a latte because it has "too much milk." She has been on Weight Watchers my entire life and when we went around the table ...

Happy HatingPleasing Others

4 comments | July 10th, 2012

chestist swirl2

(by Heather, a Chestist)

I'm tired of worrying about pleasing other people. When does this insane behavior ever end????

At what point will it no longer matter to me, when will I realize that it is impossible to please everybody and just be happy with myself. At the rate I'm going, I'll be dead first. {end story}

Do you put other people's happy before your own?  (What's up with that?)  Any advice for Heather ~ and the rest of us?  

Happy HatingI Want To Please Myself

3 comments | July 9th, 2012

exploding flowers

(story submitted by So Tired, a 31 yo Chestist)

I'm so fucking tired of worrying about how I look, how I come off, what people will think of me.

When I was younger all I wanted to do was please everyone.  Now I just want to be able to please myself and I don't know how because I'm too wrapped up in what "they" think. {end story}

It can be easy to focus on "them" and what they think when you should be focusing on you.  Tell us, how do you do it?  Any tips?



Happy HatingHow Do I Cope?

3 comments | July 5th, 2012

chestist sad

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

my dad's a drunk...

...although i have many great people who are willing to talk to me or just listen. im so tired of them acting like they know how i feel or that its gonna get better. IM. SO. TIRED. OF. IT. because they dont! they dont know how it feels to be scared coming home from school, or being embarassed to have your friends over because your dads passed out in the living room, etc. and STOP TELLING ME ITS GONNA GET BETTER. because its not! the only way its gonna get better is if he wants to get better and he doesnt. he doesnt. so no dont tell me you know how it feels. i get that everyone has problems but no one should have to live with this because it SUCKS. it really does...the thing is, my mom and i both want to leave but we cant unless we want to be broke...how do i cope with this...i dont know what to do and i want it all to stop. {end story}

When you can't fix ...

Happy HatingI Shouldn’t Have Said Those Things

4 comments | July 2nd, 2012

Screen Shot 2012-07-02 at 8.15.06 AM

(story submitted by Arrested Development, a 28 yo Chestist)

(image by Carl James Ferraro)

Really, how old am I?  The answer is 28 but based on how I handled myself the other night it'd be reasonable to think 14.

I was having a fight with my boyfriend for the too-many-th time.  We've both known this relationshio was over, just neither of us wanted to end it going into summer.  You're practically supposed to be dating someone in summer.  Making out on the beach, having sex in the pool, spending warm nights outside, all that stuff.  Like 2 Ostriches, we both have just stuck our heads in the sand and kept going.

Then I just snapped.  All the things he'd been doing that have annoyed me for so long just piled up and the camel's back broke.  Rather than handle it like an adult, I found myself name-calling, insulting, and not being very nice at all.  At all. 

Maybe I was angrier than I thought, even thenm I don't think that's an excuse for telling him he's a bad lover (he ...