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Happy HatingBack-Stabbed By My BFF

7 comments | June 29th, 2012

girl on girl violence

(story submitted anonymously, by a chestist)

I talked my husband into recommending my BFF for a job at his company, the best job she's ever had, and she got him fired. 

She stopped speaking to us after she got the job and began her own agenda.  We've just purchased a house and have a special needs child at home so our savings is all gone.  I have so much hurt, anger and hatred in my heart for her I can't sleep.  I just don't understand how someone that we helped out could be such a self centered, egotistical, selfish person. 

I've lost trust in everyone, and don't believe a word anyone says anymore.  I'm surprised that my husband has forgiven me for ever introducing her into our lives.  I just have to get this "off my chest".  {end story}

There's probably little that can hate on your happy more than the betrayal of a friend, unless that betrayal also hurts your husband and your family.  Not cool.  Have you ever been backstabeed like our writer?  have you ever done the backstabbing?  How'd you ...

Happy HatingLying Liars

1 response | June 28th, 2012

lies

(story submitted anonymously by a Chetsist)

I've just broken up with the most dishonest person I've ever known.  I look back and can see so many lies told.  None of them were huge in and of themselves.  All of them add up to huge and to it being so clear I can't trust this guy at all.  So many little lies.  Too many.

I always had had a sense, and then when I caught him in the first lie I didn't do anything.  I should have.  Then once that one was clear and out, all the others become easier to see until it became intolerable.  I think it should have been intolerable a long time ago.  It makes me angry at myself for being so desperate for something to work that I totally ignored that it wasn't and couldn't.

Part of me wants to tell everyone we know what a liar he is.  I won't though.  Now I'm out and moving on, and I will not make the same mistake again.  Liars suck. {end story}

You ever been the victim ~ or the perpetrator ~ of ...

#chestismsHappier, Later. A Chestism.

12 comments | June 27th, 2012

chestismsmall

(submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

One of you wrote us with this.  It's so simple, true and important to remember:

Sometimes you have to do something that hurts now to be happy later. {end story}  

When have you had to do something that hurt now to be happier later?  Remember, if you share your story you can help change hers.

#lifestagesHappiness Makes Old Age Cooler

2 comments | June 27th, 2012

Get Busy Living

(OOC via psychologytoday.com)

This getting older thing can be funny.  Seems few of us want to do it, and our milestone birthdays often seem like millstones around the necks of our happy (or maybe it's just our longevity).   It's stranger still when you consider, as this reasearch did , that it's those over 60 who are the happiest amongst us.  Or at least they're the happiest amongst the Brits, where the research was conducted.  From the psychologytoday article:   "Research on the happiness of different age groups in the UK has found - surprisingly, it might seem at first - that it's actually the over 60s. This research showed that happiness levels are quite high in the 20s, then dip through the 30s and reach their lowest point in the mid-forties. But after 50, they start to rise, and continue rising through the 60s, when they become even higher than young people's. Similarly, a recent world wide survey found that, so long as they are in fairly good health, 70 year ...

Happy HatingEmpty

6 comments | June 25th, 2012

road back

(story by GLH, a Chestist)

My emotional tank is on empty.  {end story}

This is a short story to be sure, but probably one to which a lot of us can relate.  When you feel like this what do you do to help yourself feel more better?

#thecumulativeeffectMore Sexual Double Standards

6 comments | June 21st, 2012

different

(story submitted by Kara, a 17 yo Chestist)

My friend decided to fool around with a guy friend of hers. He told everyone about it and her reputation is down the toilet. His, on the other hand, has never been better. It's unfair how girls are condemned for the same things that guys are praised for.  {end story}

We shared another sexual double standard story earlier this week.  There's no denying the double standard exists, but let's spend more time on why it's so.  Why does her reputation suffer while his is enhanced ~ all for doing the same thing?  Penises and vaginas, let's discuss.  

#lifestagesI Am No Longer Comparing

5 comments | June 20th, 2012

change

(story submitted anonymously, by a 33 yo Chestist)

Sometimes what we see is not what we get.  Check out her story:

I was staring in the mirror.  Noting every flaw, every change, every thing I wished were different.  I was picking myself apart - more observationally than negatively, and wondering how what I had once been had become this 33 year-old version of me now, when I found myself saying "wow, you don't look very good."

Just as suddenly and actually taking me by surprise, I found myself saying "it is what it is and you are what you are."  And I smiled at my reflection, and walked away feeling pretty good about the me that I am and no longer comparing it to the me I used to be :-) {end story}

Truth, the happy ending here took us by delightful surprise.  How's about you, Chestists? What do you see when you look at you in the mirror?  However it makes you feel, why do you think you feel that way?   What needs to happen or change for you to feel (even) better?  Let's #discuss.   

#chestismsLessons Presented As Challenges

11 comments | June 14th, 2012

rising podos

(story submitted by Tara, a 21 yo Chestist) I want to be free. I feel like I'm sitting on a fence. I was born on that fence and realized I was there when I was 4. Now I want to jump off and run away. I just feel like it's time. I want to leave my old ways behind, my weed smoking, wall kicking, screaming, angry, scared self. I want to say "fuck you, thank you" to everything in my life that is a lesson presented as a challenge. Fucking pain in my body, lessons in my archive. I'm going to be fine, I just have to be patient. {end story}

Have you learned any lessons that were first presented as challenges? 

Happy HatingI Still Want a Dad Though

13 comments | June 14th, 2012

chestist black scratch

(story submitted anonymously, by a 20 yo Chestist)

My whole life I've basically loved my dad more than my mom. I feel horrible for sharing that.  i mean i love them the same i just showed the love more to my dad. My dad was scary at times but i just couldn't help but love him still and when he was nice and sweet it reassured my love. He paid for everything, always was the man of the house.  he was strict and i never wanted to get him mad, and you know what writing this now actually has made me realize that maybe i loved him more or cared for him more because he had expectations and my mom didn't.

It was almost like a challenge to stay within his love lines i guess you can say, i didn't want to cross that line and have him be disappointed. that was life up to a month or so ago. It turns out he's been seeing another woman behind my mom's back. Everything just stopped.  i didn't want to be loved by him any more.  there ...

Surrounded By Youth and Beauty

6 comments | June 13th, 2012

Mic

(story submitted by Mirror Stalker, a Chestist)

I'm no Homecoming Queen but I used to think I was "cute".  Lately it's like I'm surrounded by youth and beauty and it makes me feel old and unattractive.  Every where I look, I see women skinnier thsn me, prettier than me, younger than me, and looking like they're having more fun than me.

I don't know if it's that I'm turning 35 in a few months, or living in New York, or working in the industry I do.  It's not about having a guy, it's about feeling pretty and confident when I look in the mirror or see my reflection in a store window.  I can't stand comparing myself to other women but I have been and not favorably.  I'm seriously thinking about cosmetic "enhancements" to look younger and feel prettier. {end story} 

How we feel about how we look can influence our happyness and self-confidence in so many ways (go ahead, you can quote us on that).  You find yourself comparing you to others?  You ever win that competition or is it alwys self-defeating? 

Happy HatingI’m Not A Mind Reader

10 comments | June 12th, 2012

brain

(story submitted by Michelle T, a Chestist)

I'm not a mind reader.  I don't know what you want or are thinking unless you tell me.  I can try my hardest to figure it out.  I can guess and look for the signals but I can not read your mind. I do not know why you expect me to.  It is not fair. {end story}

We don't know who in her life Michelle's talking about, but we do know that sometimes some people think that if they think it we should get it just through osmosis.  We can all also be guilty of doing the same thing ourselves every now and agin, no?  You ever expect anyone to read your mind?  Anyone in your life expect you to be reading theirs (partners, bosses, husbands, friends...).  Do tell.

#lifestagesGrowing Up Late

6 comments | June 11th, 2012

FLY post

(story submitted by FL, a Chestist)

I'm 26 and I'm refusing to grow-up.  I know, age is just a mind-set, yet all my friends are already settling down with "real jobs" and relationships.  Everyone seems in such a rush and almost burdened by the day by day.

I like uncertainty and being free.  I like chasing excitement and the thrill of not knowing what's coming next.  I like screaming outloud when I'm happy.  I like making ends meet but knowing I can leave at any time.  I have this one friend who says she thinks I'm running away from responsibility.  She's probably right I just like it this way.  {end story}

How old were you when you "grew up" (if you have)?  And what's growing up mean to you, any way?

Love & SexEmotionally Abused

5 comments | June 11th, 2012

chestist sad

(story submitted anonymously, by a 31 yo Chestist)

When i realized that he had been emotionally abusing me, i called him on it. i told him it had to stop or i'd leave. he did stop, and sometimes i wish i'd left anyway. i don't think i'll ever be able to move on or trust him again.  {end story}

Can you have a healthy and happy relationship without trust?  If trust is lost...can you find it?

#lifestages6th Sense

7 comments | June 11th, 2012

Jump

(story submitted by Elena K, a Chestist)

I remember when I was younger, growing up and still living at home, that I always had this sense that no matter what happened everything would work out for me.  It was like a quiet comfort and security that I'd be fine no mattr what did and din't happen.  Not invincibility, just security.  Even when things weren't good I just knew they would be eventually.

I'm 31 now and realize I've lost that feeling.  Life's worked out well for me so far but I've entered a period of uncertainty and have realized that the sense of well-being that had always been there isn't any more.  I don't know where or how or when I lost it, I'd just like it back.  {end story}

Any advice for Elena on getting her groove back?  Any of you have a similar sense that no matter what happens, everything is going to be just fine?  (we sure hope so.)

 

Happy HatingHow Do You Deal With Anger

6 comments | June 9th, 2012

black explosion chestist

(story submitted by Pissed, a Chestist)

I am pissed.  Lately though I feel like I'm always feeling that way.  The thing is I'm getting so angry in my professional life that it's spilling over into my personal life and I don't know how to stop it from happening. 

Too many people aren't doing what they say, not listening, or not doing things well.  I get so frustrated and angry and then when I should be off doing something totally unrelated, I'm still frustrated and angry and it just sucks.  I want to leave it where it belongs, at work.  {end story}

How do you deal with anger (and/or frustration) so that it doesn't follow you like a shadow?

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