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#chestismsSmacked In The Inner Eye

26 comments | April 26th, 2012

rising podos

(story submitted by Leona Mizrahi, a chestist)

We ran this amazing story just last week ~ but we got hacked (hacked, I say, hacked) when it was up.  So in case you missed it then, here it is again. 

Before I got married, I thought I knew everything about spirituality and manifestation. Hoisting my self-realization flag in my late 20’s allowed me to manifest all of my sugar coated desires in my early 30’s: my job, my man, my marriage, and our home without a white picket fence.

Surprisingly at 31, I began to feel a spiritual buzz kill. I was disconnected from myself. My inner peace dulled. I was emotionally paralyzed. In moments of despair all of the tools that once cured moments of frustration as a single girl, no longer worked for me as a married young woman. Um, not happily ever after? Ultimate confusion set in.

My debut spiritual journey taught me to ditch toxic relationships and behaviors, meditate to clarity, and allow life to unfold. I had done ‘the work’. Life was unfolding… but my spark was diminishing. What the what!?

Seeking to reignite my ...

#lifestagesWhen Family Goes Missing

7 comments | April 25th, 2012

chestist swirl

(submitted anonymously, by a 39yo Chestist) Is your family together?  Here's her story:

I have two daughters...1 is three years old and one is seven months...how do I empower myself to get family back together and strengthen ties for these precious beings with their uncle, aunt and most importantly...their cousins. Daughters, girls, women, mothers, sister in laws cannot sit back anymore and allow possible family connections and memories to disappear. Suggestions PLEASE.  {end story}  

Thanksgiving tensions aside, our extended familes can be an important part of giving our kids - to say nothing of ourselves - a sense of the past that helps contextualize the present.  How close is your exnteded family?  Does it feel more like obligation, habit, or joy?  Any advice for our writer?  Remember, you can help change her story if you share yours.

Love & SexMy Heart Aches

10 comments | April 25th, 2012

kiss

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

I broke up with him for all the wrong reasons.  It's only now that I realize it but he's moved on.  My heart aches without him.  My heart aches for him. {end story}

There's little that can so fully and completely hate on your happy like heart ache.  Most of us have been through it.  What's your story?

Happy HatingGetting Past Anger

6 comments | April 23rd, 2012

anger

(by OOC)

Anger.  Some of us get there quickly, some of us are a really slow boil. 

Is anger an inevitable part of our lives?

What makes you angry (or who)?  How do you deal with it when you are? (Us, our heart beats fast, we get red in the face, and our typically not at our most productive.  Just saying.)

#lifestagesLosing My Dad

6 comments | April 23rd, 2012

chestist sad

(story submitted by "his girl", a Chestist)

My dad is sick and probably not going to make it much longer at all.  When I think about being in a world without him I get physically ill.  I know it can sound strange to describe your father as your best friend.  My dad is my best-friend though.

Growing up, there was nothing I couldn't say to him, tell him, share with him or ask him.  My mom and I were close (she died 6 years ago) but my father and I have always been so connected.  My husband loves him, and my children love their grandfather so much.  He is such a part of our lives and my life that I feel so lost already.  Who wil I turn to?  Who will I share with?  Who will listen to me and understand me the way he always has?

I know I'll always be his girl.  I just don't want him to leave yet.  I don't think I'll ever be ready. I know I'm not now. {end story}

Ever lose someone you were beyond close with?  How'd you get past it?  Have you been ...

#bodiesBody Image Buzzkill

10 comments | April 21st, 2012

Screen shot 2011-10-05 at 2.35.04 PM

(story submitted anonymously, by an 18 yo Chestist) ~ On Repeat

Yesterday we spoke at the Fashion Law Institute at Fordham about the Medi and Public Health Act.  Along with other panelists, the conversation touched on what we're eaching doing to perpetutate, create and/or change norms.  It's with this in mind, that we re-share this user-submitted story from Februrary.  Here it is: 

 

On our FB page the other day we posted a Teddy Roosevelt quote reading "comparison is the thief of joy."  No doubt, and to think he lived before mass, popular culture.  This reader writes us with a story that takes us to a similar space.  Here's her story:

I'm 18 and have been struggling with my body image since I was 12.

I've never been overweight, but compared to the girls in magazines and all over TV, I'm huge.  I've struggled so much with comparing myself to others, starving myself and purging. As hard as I try to not have these feelings, and I try to think "maybe I can be normal and healthy and accept my body" that mentality only lasts ...

Happy MakingWho’s the Happiest Person You Know?

7 comments | April 19th, 2012

happiness

(by OOC)

Ok, who's the happiest person you know ~ and why are they so happy?

What can you learn from them?  What can we?  Happy is as happy does, after all.

#bodiesShit Happens

12 comments | April 18th, 2012

embarrassed

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

OK, so this isn't a typical story for us to post, but it's not a typical story for us to get either.  The reason we're putting it up is it made us think.  it made us think about how we do and don't overcome embrassments, and why some of the things that are most common among us can still be so shameful and embarassing.  Yes, a couple of very deep thoughts from a story about poop.  Here it is:

I pooped in my pants the other day.  I was driving home after a night out with my GF when my stomach started to cramp and I started to sweat.  I knew right away I needed to find a bathroom and I also knew there was no way I was going to.  To make matters even worse, the Freeway was all backed up and I couldn't even get off to find a dark place on the side of a road to get sick.  It was like a Bridesmaids moment - except it was happening to me and it wasn't funny.

I was panicing, ...

#thecumulativeeffectSadness

6 comments | April 16th, 2012

sadness

(by OOC)

One of the best pieces of parenting advice we ever got was this.  You know when a baby cries?  Let the baby know crying is okay.  Don't try and shoosh away what the child is feeling.  Let them feel it.

Most of us, pick them up anbd gently start ricking them and shooshing them and saying something like "oh, don't cry.  Don't be sad, baby, it's going to be okay."

Why do we do that?  Why not let the baby cry and be sad on their way to being happier and feeling more better?  It's like we're demonizing an inevitable part of our emotional lives.  Sadness isn't bad, it's sad.  We all feel sad, we all will feel sad, and while hopefully we won't spend a lot if time in that space, we often don't give oursleves the permission to spend any time there.  Why is that?

How do you deal with sadness in your life?  How do you work your way throught it and past it ~ or don't you?  Do you let yourself feel all your emotions, or do you try and compartmentalize ...

#lifestagesHappiness, Wherefore Art Thou?

3 comments | April 13th, 2012

chestist enthralled

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

Is it just my life or does the whole world seem off its axis lately?  I feel like I've never worked harder, at my job, with my family, on myself and yet I'm like one of those hamsters or gerbils on one of those treadmills --  not getting anywhere.

I grew up really fortunate.  By any reasonable standard we were rich.  I never had to work, always had whatever I needed and even most of what I wanted.  I also had this sense that everything was going to work out well for me.  It's not like it hasn't so far because it has.  Good job, great guy, loving friends and all that.  It just doesn't feel like it has.  I want it to feel like it has, like it is and like it will be.  I don't know why I've lost my sense of optimism when I'm still so fortunate.  I want it back and I want to get off this hamster treadmill.  Happiness and satisfaction, wherefore art thou?  {end story}

Like that perfect-on-paper-date-but-not-so-much-for-us-in-real-life, sometimes things just feel wrong even when they seem like they ...

Happy HatingKeeping Me Small

8 comments | April 12th, 2012

Chestist typewriter 2

(story submitted by Tara, a 26 yo Chestist) 

i'm so scared that i don't know what i'm doing.

is this relationship holding me back and keeping me small?

should i be pursuing this career or am i crazy?

i just want to feel loved, nurtured and supported.

why do i feel like i can't provide that for myself? seeking strength right now. {end story}

Tara's wants and worries seem so relatable to us.  Have you ever felt like she does?  Can you relate?  How'd you get past it?  Or are you still swimming in it? 

Let's #discuss and get it off our chests. 

#chestismsMother May I?

7 comments | April 12th, 2012

Sketch 2011-01-30 18_54_33

(submitted by OOC)

If Sue Sylvester can have this kind of insight, thinkn what the rest of us are capable of: "You know when I finally began to like who I am?  When I decided to stop trying to please you." ~ (Sue to her mom)

You spend your time more worried about pleasing others than you are about pleasing yourself?  What do you think is the right balance?  Go on and #discuss.  We're listening.

Love & SexOn Becoming a Nun

4 comments | April 11th, 2012

kiss

(story submitted by JS, a 28 year-old Chestist)

You know that line "if I didn't have bad luck I wouldn't have no luck at all"?  That's how I feel about my dating life.  If I didn't have bad dates, I'd have no dates at all.

I was in a 2+ year relationship until last May.  Since then I've had what seems like dozens of first dates and maybe 3 second dates.  It sounds so obvious to say there are no good guys in L.A. and it makes me despise myself a little bit that I've become another woman who complains about not being able to find a guy.  Why do I need to find a guy?  A guy will be lucky to find me!  I don't even know if it's a guy I want as much as to not have to look for one anymore.

A lot of my friends are already married and some are starting to have kids.  Sometimes I wind up feeling like I'm competing in a game of musical chairs with the girls I go out with.  I'm tired of looking.  I'm tired of bad dates.  I'm ...

#lifestagesA Stay-at-Home-More Mom

6 comments | April 11th, 2012

black explosion chestist

(submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

I was working at home the other night.  I was trying to squeeze in what I thought was a last email, and a final look at something I needed for the morning.  I was only focused on what I was doing when I notices my youngest, who's 5 standing in the kitchen staring at me.  As she notices me noticing her, she says "mommy, why do you always work?"  I thought I was going to die and just felt so guilty.

I began trying to explain why I work a lot but everything seemed to fall short of being relevant.  Then I began to wonder why I do "always work", and wondered what I've missed because of it.  My career is really just beginning.  I love what I do and I'm good at it.  I'm not suited to being a stay-at-home mom.  I wish I was.  I can't help but wonder if I can be a stay-at-home-more mom.

In the battle on how to spend my time, it seems like for sure there's always going to be a loser. {end story}

You have any thoughts ...

Happy MakingCan You Have Too Much Happiness?

6 comments | April 9th, 2012

woosh

(by OOC via bigthink.com)

Can happiness possibly have a downside?  In a word, so it seems (get it, that's not 1 word).

According to this article, having too much of a good thing, even happiness, can turn out badly...When it comes to income levels, life expectancy, education and being attentive to risks, too much happiness can drag you down. "Psychologists have documented a set of cognitive deficits, dangerous in some contexts, that come with the warm wash of feeling that all is right with the world...contemporary psychology reminds us that happiness is the byproduct of certain ways of behavior. It is not an end that can be achieved by pursuing bliss directly. That, they say, is a recipe for unhappiness."

Forget what the cognitive psychologists think...what do you think?  Have you ever had too much of a good thing? What was it?  What about happiness - is it possible to be too happy?

 

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