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WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Love & SexMy BF’s Porn

22 comments | August 12th, 2012

concerned

(by Katie, a 25yo Chestist)

There's so much about this story sent us by one of you we think is important, let's just let her do the talking:

I don't know if I'm upset right now. Or even if I should be.

I hopped on the BF's laptop to check email this morning (his was on and I was lazy enough to not want to turn mine on) and saw he had some... ahem... visual aids... up in the tabs. Now, we have frequently used porn of various kinds as foreplay ("Do you like this? Why? Why not?") so me checking out what was selected has positive precedent with us.

But these were all "Barely Legal!" and "All Horny Teens!" sites... Not the usual variety pack of mid/latetwenties, obviously adult bodies. Im willing to enjoy the blanket assumption that all of these girls are fully legal and do this to support their own, noncoerced sexuality, but all I can see is the girls in the teen Girl Scout troop I volunteered with last year. I texted him to ask about it (nicely, I swear) and he called not ...

Love & SexSexually Confused.

14 comments | March 3rd, 2012

Chestist typewriter 2

(submitted anonymously, by a Chestist.  Oringinally 5.11.11 and again now)

Have you ever wondered about your own sexuality?  She's wondering about hers and shares this:

"I am struggling with my sexual orientation.  I don't know what I am. I think I may be bi, since I had a pretty strong crush on my college roommate for several years.  I've only been in one relationship, and that was with my ex-boyfriend, who is still a good friend of mine.  We're just not right for each other. 

Things are even more complicated because I'm a Christian, and I'm not sure what to believe about whether it's ok to be with the same sex...although my heart tells me there's nothing wrong with it, I'm afraid of going against God.  I have always been in the minority...I'm different in a lot of ways from the main crowd in my beliefs, so I just don't know who to trust.  I'm trying to let God speak to me, but all I hear ...

#bodiesTaking Matters Into My Own Hands

5 comments | February 7th, 2012

red handed

(submitted by Cee Dee in response to Prescribing Pleasure: 1.7.11, now on OOC Replay)

There's nothing about this story, originally a comment to another, that we do not love.  We love its candor, its comfort, and the author's unhesitating willingness to speak her truth and share her story.  Here it is:

Okay, our body is about the ONLY place we as women still have total and complete control.  We decide if we are going to have an abortion or bring a life into this world.  We can nourish a child with our breast milk or not.  We can also manipulate our clitoris into some kind orgasm – be it big or small.  To hand over this last bit of sexual power to a man is just about as depressing as not ever having felt the magic of an orgasm.

Honestly, i didn’t have an orgasm (with a man) until i was 41. i have been having sex since i was 19. The ONLY reason i had THAT orgasm was because I masturbated during sex with my partner. I can only count 1 time that i ...

#bodiesNipple Envy

9 comments | December 7th, 2011

chestist swirl

(story submitted by Wendy Colbert, a Chestist)

I miss my nipples.  Sure, there are benefits to being a 44-year-old nipple-free woman.  I can wear skimpy tops now without a bra.  No matter how cold the breeze is, my chest remains smooth and unstimulated.  And of course, those pesky cancer cells that had nested just behind my right nipple are gone, along with all the tissue that made up my breasts.

I miss my breast tissue, and the sensation of my chest skin.  I'm mostly numb now.  But I miss my nipples the most.  I wish I heard more women value and grieve their loss of sexual sensation after mastectomy and breast reconstruction, so that I would have had a better understanding before diving into the process myself.

Before breast cancer, I never thought much about my nipples.  You could say I took them for granted.

Now, I wonder, where did my nipples end up?  Were they chucked into some hospital waste dumpster, along with other spare parts - tumors, cysts, and cellulite?   My nipples were special.  Shouldn't they have been properly grieved for and more ceremoniously disposed of?

My nipples represented ...

Love & SexThe Tell-Tale Ring

32 comments | November 28th, 2011

Chestist grunge

(story by Clarisse Thorn, a Chestist)

So, I have this ex.  I dated him for a long time, but we haven't really talked in ages.  I suspect that I hurt him pretty bad when he dated; he hurt me pretty bad, too.

I've written about him only a few times.  For instance, I wrote about him when I discussed my history of figuring out how to reach orgasm, because he ... was not a good sexual partner.  He pressured me in a lot of unpleasant sex-related ways.  During one fight, he even shouted at me that he didn't care about my sexual satisfaction.

I know that he was manipulative.  I know that he ignored my needs.  And I know that he hurt me.  But I also believe that he loved me.  I know he understands me deeply, and respects me in a lot of ways.  I know I was important to him, and I know I wasn't always the most reasonable partner myself.

Where is the space for me to reconcile these things?

I once wrote a long post about him that got very different ...

Love & SexChemistry

comment | November 10th, 2011

Chemistry

(This story originally appeared on Clarisse Thorn: Pro-Sex Outreach, Open-Minded Feminism.)

It's a long story and a short one, but I guess all of them are.

I'm 27. It's about that age: A lot of my compatriots are getting married lately -- most monogamously, some to a primary polyamorous partner. I myself have a stack of relationships in my past. Some were monogamous, some polyamorous. Some have been on-and-off, some short-term, some long-term (5 or 6 years was the longest). Lately I've been processing some tough questions about polyamory, but I'd like to stick with it.

And I've been thinking a lot about what I want in a primary polyamorous partner. The kind of guy I could marry. I wonder if I'll ever get to that point. I wonder if I'd know him if I saw him.  

* *

I met Mr. Ambition at one of the aforementioned weddings. Several people recommended that I talk to him, and we liked each other right away. Mutual friends used words like "zealot" to describe him; let's just say he's got an intense history of dedicated activism. Charisma, integrity, and ...

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