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WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Happy HatingI’m Not Pregnant

3 comments | July 22nd, 2012

Mic

(by anonymous, a Chestist)

Yesterday, after enjoying a lovely cup of tea with some friends, an elderly man who had been at the restaurant since before we got there interrupted us to ask, "So when are you due?" Needless to say (or, I suppose, not so needless), I'm NOT pregnant.

I quickly signed my receipt and stormed out before the other patrons could see my face flush red. When I got home I dropped my purse, tore off my shoes and started weeping into my fiance's arms. I'm trying so hard to lose weight for our wedding...and for my health and my life...and it seems like in every candid photo, every walk by a mirror, I seem to have gained weight. What's worse, with every word of comfort my fiance tried to say, a louder voice in my head made a counterpoint in middle-school-mean-girl fashion. When I tried to tell my fiance about the voice, he said, "Tell it it can't stay. No one is allowed in this bed but you and me."

And the voice chimed in with, "Only because no one else could fit." {end ...

Happy MakingFeeling More Better: A List

6 comments | July 19th, 2012

chestist enthralled

(by Anonymous, a Chestist)

You know what makes me feel more better?  People who care.

Friends who act like it.

Random acts of niceness.

Reciprocation.

Generosity.

A nice sales-person.

A great dinner.

Delicious sex.

The feeling of falling in love.

The smell of a thunderstorm.

A great pair of shoes.

Shopping.

Another great pair of shoes.

Meeting someone who likes what I like.

Spending time with someone who makes me think differently.

Finding my way when I'm lost -- literally and figuratively.

A good book.

Great music.

Feeling good about me. {end story}

What makes you feel more better?

 

Love & SexBest Friends

3 comments | July 18th, 2012

50s chestist

(by Blue Jay, a Chestist)

We used to be so close. We shared everything with no fear of being judged.  We didn't always agree but we always supported each other, trusted each other, and looked to each other.

It doesn't seem like that anymore and I do not know why.  It makes me so sad.  I don't really know a world without her as my best friend.  {end story}

You ever broken up with your BFF; why?  Any advice for Blue Jay?

Life Can Be Funny

5 comments | July 12th, 2012

chestist blue

(by J., a Chestist)

Life can be funny.  Then it can be full of greatness and then sadness and then bordeom and then exhaustion.  Then either way it can turn around and surprise you in so many ways. 

The thing I've learned about life is you never know what's coming next and all you can do is get ready for it.  This probably sounds like one of those bad posters you'd buy at an airport, with people parachuting out of a plane with something like "Teamwork" written across it.  I'm okay with that.  {end story}

What's the one thing you've learned ~ or maybe haven't yet ~ about life?

#bodiesSelf-Loathing, Just Like Mama Taught Me

10 comments | July 12th, 2012

Chestist Shares

(story submitted as a comment, by Lana a Chestist, and reposted here, now)

The writer first posted this as a comment to our story on Mothers, and what they teach us about ourselves - for good and ill.  Here's her story:

When I was 14, my mom told me that, for her, 130 lbs was "big." At that time, I weighed about 165 lbs. In that moment, I wanted to kill myself.

She wasn't telling me to lose weight, she was expressing her own dissatisfaction with her body. My mom has a curvy hourglass figure - she's wears a 32DD Bra and size 12 pants. Her waist is tiny but she has our family's hips bodacious booty. My whole life, my mother talked about food, and she still does. She decides to "hate" foods that have "too much fat," like cheesecake, which, I recently found out, she actually loves but told me that she hated it my whole life. She won't even drink a latte because it has "too much milk." She has been on Weight Watchers my entire life and when we went around the table ...

Boomerang

4 comments | July 11th, 2012

brain

(by anonymous, a Chestist)

I've always believed in the power of positive thinking.  You know, the idea that if you put good thoughts out there good things will come back.  What happens when you can't think good thoughts, when you're just in one of those spaces where everything is kind of depressing?  If you're filled with negative and depressed thoughts is that what comes back to you?

I would really like to get out of my head which hasn't been a very fun place to be lately. I worry I'm putting negative thoughts out there and they're boomeranging back to me. {end story}

What do you guys think (get it)?  If we are what we eat, what about what we think?  #discuss.

#thecumulativeeffectRewriting Fairytales

8 comments | July 10th, 2012

Fairytale

(by Kristen, a Chestist)

I found out I'm having a baby girl over the weekend. To be honest, I was disappointed. Life as a woman in this country is difficult. Beautiful women get a lot more without trying as hard and the rest of us are inundated with media telling us why we're not right for not being those beautiful women.

I didn't want that for my daughter, so I wanted a son. I looked at the ultrasound screen; I saw the difficult life she would have---that I've had---and I cried. And then I realized why it matters more for me to have a girl. It matters because it's time to change my attitude. It's time to make this world understand that beauty isn't as important as what she can do. It's time for me to step up and teach her that she is incredible, smart, talented (no matter what those talents are). And it's time for me to use my own talents to help her understand.

I'm a writer and thanks to my unborn daughter, I have a new project in mind. When she's born, I won't ...

Happy HatingPleasing Others

4 comments | July 10th, 2012

chestist swirl2

(by Heather, a Chestist)

I'm tired of worrying about pleasing other people. When does this insane behavior ever end????

At what point will it no longer matter to me, when will I realize that it is impossible to please everybody and just be happy with myself. At the rate I'm going, I'll be dead first. {end story}

Do you put other people's happy before your own?  (What's up with that?)  Any advice for Heather ~ and the rest of us?  

Happy HatingI Want To Please Myself

3 comments | July 9th, 2012

exploding flowers

(story submitted by So Tired, a 31 yo Chestist)

I'm so fucking tired of worrying about how I look, how I come off, what people will think of me.

When I was younger all I wanted to do was please everyone.  Now I just want to be able to please myself and I don't know how because I'm too wrapped up in what "they" think. {end story}

It can be easy to focus on "them" and what they think when you should be focusing on you.  Tell us, how do you do it?  Any tips?

 

 

Pregnancy Loss.

7 comments | July 8th, 2012

tissue

(submitted by Nicole S, a Chestist)

"Baby "Gunther", on May 1, 2012, I heard your little, but strong heartbeat. You were right around the 160's and still even at 14 weeks, you made mommy sick in the mornings. Shelley, the midwife, said that eventually that would taper off. I told her, it must be your way of letting me know you were still in there since it was too early to feel movement.

As the weeks progressed, it was evident that you were starting to grow. My belly started sticking out and I got what was the beginning of a baby bump! I was totally in denial, thinking, "It's much too early and at my size, I'm sure this is cake or ice cream." But a couple more weeks passed, and I noticed that my feet were disappearing. I was elated and nervous! I just knew I had gained a ton of weight.

I was excited and nervous for my appointment on May 29 with the midwife. I figured if my belly was making my feet disappear, then surely I had gained a ton of weight. I knew it ...

Love & SexShould I Tell Him The Truth?

12 comments | July 6th, 2012

SYT

(story submitted by tooyoungforthis, a chestist)

Ok so I'm young and my boyfriend and I are going through this stage where we're just like all over each other all the time and we just recently talked about marriage and how we want to wait until we get married to have sex blah blah blah but now we don't know if we can wait that long since were both so young anyway he thinks I'm a virgin which I'm not and all the stuff I've done with him I've done with one other guy (a previous boyfriend) when I was really really really young so before we go down this path should I tell him the truth? Or should I just not say anything? Help please! {end story}

Our 2 cents and 3 words...speak your truth.  Why do otherwise?  Who agrees ~ or doesn't?  

Happy HatingHow Do I Cope?

3 comments | July 5th, 2012

chestist sad

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

my dad's a drunk...

...although i have many great people who are willing to talk to me or just listen. im so tired of them acting like they know how i feel or that its gonna get better. IM. SO. TIRED. OF. IT. because they dont! they dont know how it feels to be scared coming home from school, or being embarassed to have your friends over because your dads passed out in the living room, etc. and STOP TELLING ME ITS GONNA GET BETTER. because its not! the only way its gonna get better is if he wants to get better and he doesnt. he doesnt. so no dont tell me you know how it feels. i get that everyone has problems but no one should have to live with this because it SUCKS. it really does...the thing is, my mom and i both want to leave but we cant unless we want to be broke...how do i cope with this...i dont know what to do and i want it all to stop. {end story}

When you can't fix ...

Happy HatingI Shouldn’t Have Said Those Things

4 comments | July 2nd, 2012

Screen Shot 2012-07-02 at 8.15.06 AM

(story submitted by Arrested Development, a 28 yo Chestist)

(image by Carl James Ferraro)

Really, how old am I?  The answer is 28 but based on how I handled myself the other night it'd be reasonable to think 14.

I was having a fight with my boyfriend for the too-many-th time.  We've both known this relationshio was over, just neither of us wanted to end it going into summer.  You're practically supposed to be dating someone in summer.  Making out on the beach, having sex in the pool, spending warm nights outside, all that stuff.  Like 2 Ostriches, we both have just stuck our heads in the sand and kept going.

Then I just snapped.  All the things he'd been doing that have annoyed me for so long just piled up and the camel's back broke.  Rather than handle it like an adult, I found myself name-calling, insulting, and not being very nice at all.  At all. 

Maybe I was angrier than I thought, even thenm I don't think that's an excuse for telling him he's a bad lover (he ...

Happy HatingBack-Stabbed By My BFF

7 comments | June 29th, 2012

girl on girl violence

(story submitted anonymously, by a chestist)

I talked my husband into recommending my BFF for a job at his company, the best job she's ever had, and she got him fired. 

She stopped speaking to us after she got the job and began her own agenda.  We've just purchased a house and have a special needs child at home so our savings is all gone.  I have so much hurt, anger and hatred in my heart for her I can't sleep.  I just don't understand how someone that we helped out could be such a self centered, egotistical, selfish person. 

I've lost trust in everyone, and don't believe a word anyone says anymore.  I'm surprised that my husband has forgiven me for ever introducing her into our lives.  I just have to get this "off my chest".  {end story}

There's probably little that can hate on your happy more than the betrayal of a friend, unless that betrayal also hurts your husband and your family.  Not cool.  Have you ever been backstabeed like our writer?  have you ever done the backstabbing?  How'd you ...

Body Image Liberation

3 comments | June 28th, 2012

rising podos

(story submitted by Esia, a Chestist)

I've never liked my body.  My proportions are wrong, I'm usually a little overweight, and I seem stuck in a perpetual bad hair day.

Fashion has always been my way of hiding what I don't like and showing what I do.  It's been how I help myself feel prettier.  As you can imagine, summer has been a hard season because we begin to unwrap and the beach or the pool, sheer terror.  Until last weekend. 

We were in the Hamptons and at a beautiful cocktail party on the beach.  It was summer afternoon perfect.  The water is still freezing and so only a few people were crazy enough to go in, but everyone was running around or milling around in bathing suits and various stages of Hampton's elegant causal undress.  I felt like I was hiding, and that by hiding I was keeping myself from having fun that I should be having. I decided not to do that anymore.  Dropping my wrap and taking off my little sweater to get down just to my bathing suit was an odd ...

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