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Friends, a Love/Hate Relationship

one comment | December 16th, 2011

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

One of you wrote us with this:

I hate and love my friends. I love them because they are always there for me. I hate them because they don't quite understand why I need them so much, and sometimes they think that maybe I'm just being a bit dramatic.

I have an anxiety disorder, ADD and a bunch of health issues. They all compound each other. When I'm stressed, everything is worse. My friends are so good at making sure I eat with them before an exam, knowing I won't eat otherwise. But they don't get that when I'm left alone with my anxieties, they shake me too much to consider eating. My stomach is in my throat and I feel ill.

My friends are always willing to put something on hold to take me to a counselor for the first time or something like that, but they don't get that I'm terrified of going because I'm terrified of being dismissed. Or that the reason I need someone to convince me that my dreams aren't over because of one bad exam is because I'm actually convinced they are. {end story}

As we read this, it may be less that she "hates" her friends, who seem to care for and about her, than she hates why she needs them.  No doubt the writer here has a lot to deal with and doesn't have it easy.  And as we all know, the demons in our heads are far worse than any that exist outside them.  So what fo you, dear Chestists?  Anything you can share with our anonymous friend that may help her and her friends?

1 comment

  • Ellie

    Posted on December 16, 2011

    It sounds like your friends really care about you. You have written about your true feelings so eloquently here. Have you tried to share these feelings with your friends? I bet they would really get where you are at. I am sure you are scared to tell them the truth, but people can always handle more than we think they can. Maybe just show them this piece of writing.

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