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WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

In A Hospital Room

5 comments | November 30th, 2011

(story submitted Anonymously, by a 25 yo Chestist)

I am sitting in a hospital room with my husband right now. This is day 10. He fell two stories, through the glass pool house roof at his step-mother's house. He wound up with a burst vertebrae. Yesterday was the last of two surgeries he had to have to prevent paralyzation(a miracle it didn't happen btw)and rebuild that part of his spine.

I have barely cried this whole time and have not let him see me do it once so as not to stress him out.

Tonight I wound up sitting on the bathroom floor in his room balling my eyes out for over an hour while he was knocked out from pain killers. The thing that set me off was the nurse telling me there were not any blankets left when I am literally shaking here. {end story}.

The tragedy of falling through a glass pool-house makes this story unusual.  The experience of watching a loved-one struggle is far less unusual, and there are few things that can hate on your happy like it.  Have you ever been through it?  Have you ever felt the impotence of not being able to do anything, or the discomfort of having to be strong when you've never felt more afraid?  What can you share with this one of us?  Wishing we had a blanket…

5 comments

  • Anonymous

    Posted on November 30, 2011

    Wrapping my digital arms around you.

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  • Sophia

    Posted on November 30, 2011

    I understand that you are trying to be strong and not stress him out, but I think you can cry. He knows you care about him and that you are not an automaton. You are just sad that this horrible thing has happened to him. You don’t have to completely lose it, but go ahead and show him your feelings. Then he can show his as well. Just what I think. Hope it’s okay that I am sharing my opinion.

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  • PK

    Posted on November 30, 2011

    Really hope you have some friends that you can be real with. It’s very important. Take care of yourself too or you won’t be able to take care of him. The hospital must have counselors/therapists if you don’t have one. Hang in there. Sending good thoughts your way.

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  • Sophia

    Posted on December 1, 2011

    I woke up this morning thinking about you. I hope your night was easy and that you are both doing better.

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  • SCM

    Posted on December 1, 2011

    As I watched my best friend lay dying, spending most of 2 weeks holding a vigil of sorts in ICU, I felt the helplessness of wanting something to desperately be one way, and knowing there was nothing I could do to make it so.

    I’ve searched for the lessons and the learning in that loss for years. I’ve hoped there could be some gain to make up for that loss. There isn’t. As far as lessons, I’ve tried to teach myself, to remember, that control is not something wanting gives us any more of. Sometimes we have it, and often we don’t. Wanting to control that which can not be is only adding hurt to want.

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