In It Together

3 comments | September 6th, 2012

(by Abbie, 17)

i believe that everyone in the world is interconnected, so I think of each of you who are reading this as my sister. as part of your universal family, i feel it's my responsibility to each and every one of you to say that it' okay to not know. i've spent the past five years driving myself crazy trying to make sense of everything in my life but, the thing is, life doesn't always make sense.

That's okay. It doesn't have to be understood to be experienced. There is a reason for everything and I truly believe that. The misconception, for me, lay in feeling the overwhelming need to always know the reason. It got to the point that I was willing to settle for believing something other than the truth.

From trying to make sense of my physical and sexual abuse as a child to trying to make sense of my eating disorder and PTSD today, I think I've finally seen a little bit of truth. The truth, my truth and maybe yours as well, is that sometimes logic can be what we use to color ourselves and our experiences in black and white. The thing is I ended up avoiding the question of "what?", and only asking the question of, "why?"

When you're awake at night crying, silently regretting, or feeling apathy chill you to the core, before you ask yourself why…admit that it hurts and that what you have figured out right there really matters. You don't need to understand your pain in some analytical or philosophical way. All you need to do is admit to yourself and someone who loves you that your heart's a little broken (or maybe a lot broken). Because, honestly, no matter why it hurts, you'll need some form of the same remedy…you'll need to find the courage and the humility to let yourself be loved. {end story}

Do you, like Abbie, believe there's a reason for everything?  You letting yourself be loved?

(And to Abbie we'll just say ~ thank you. XO, FMB)