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I’m 23 and Never Had a Relationship

6 comments | May 30th, 2012

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

 I'm 23 and have never been in a relationship.

Sometimes I feel ok about it, but on days like today it gets me down. I've dated but never really come close to being with anyone. I've never even slept with the same person twice and sex is generally a soulless experience when you don't give a damn about the person you're with and know they don't really care about you.

Most of my closest friends have been in and out and back in relationships over the years I have known them. I almost feel like my life is at a standstill, no growth, missing out on something that seems to come so easily to everyone else.

It's just so frustrating, especially when I'm given the 'when you least expect it' mantra, because I'm not expecting it and haven't for a long time. I know there's nothing wrong with me, but sometimes I can't help but wan't to ask 'what the hell is wrong with me! why am I always on my own?'..not everyday but on some days..like today.  {end story}

Why pretend otherwise; being 23 without ever having been in a relationship is more the exception than the rule for shizz.  Any advice or thoughts for our writer?  (Remember, if you share your story you may help change hers.)  How old were you when you had your first relationship?

6 comments

  • Anonymous

    Posted on May 31, 2012

    This must be super hard for you. I had “boyfriends” in high school, but never did in college where I just seemed to get lost inside a big State school. When I got out and began working I started dating and even though I haven’t found “the one” I don’t feel like I’m the ugly duckling on their own anymore.

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  • Lu

    Posted on May 31, 2012

    The moment it begins you’ll forget how long it took you to find it!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on May 31, 2012

    I am not really sure what to say, I just felt compelled to say be strong and as patient as you can be.

    It’s cold-comfort but you’ll find your way.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on June 23, 2012

    I’m 23 and have had the exact same experience that you described. No real relationships, and a few encounters of meaningless sex never with the same person. Some days I feel like it will happen when it’s supposed to, but others I cant figure out what I’m doing wrong but figure it must be something. Especially lately, I’ve had a bunch of first dates, but never gotten past a second.
    I’m a reserved person, but not to a fault. I know that someone would be lucky to be with me, I just dont know why it taking so long…I am tempted to say that I’m too picky, but I have been pretty into some f they guys I’ve gone out with, and felt like they are the ones who didnt want to go out again.
    Its nive to hear that there is someone else with the same experience. Things will work out when they are supposed to, someone will come into our lives when it is right. It is just hard to let go and be patient.

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    • FMB

      Posted on June 25, 2012

      Anonymous, your reply is such a big part of why we sarted Off OUr Chests/Feel More Better to begin with. Comfort, community, compassion and connection. There’s someone out there who hopefully feels a little less alone, a little less different a little less “wtf is wrong with me”…because you shared you story. Thank you for that.

      And yes, let go of the past and open yourself to the moment and the future. It can be so hard to do, but the rewards of doing it…so big and so rich.

      Thanks again, eva and seth at FMB

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    • Anonymous

      Posted on January 1, 2013

      It was really nice to read your comment – I didn’t see i when you wrote it 6 months ago! Perhaps you’ve already met someone! But if you see this, yes you are right, it is hard to be patient…but I’ve realized things that are hard help you grow as a person. One day eh? Happy New Year!

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