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Married to a Meth Addict

41 comments | November 11th, 2011

(story submitted anonymously, by a 22 yo Chestist)

So our first reaction as we read this, sent to us by one of you, was "wow.  how could she not know!?"  Then we realized we were judging and that love can blind us to even the most obvious of things.  Here's her story:

I've been married with my husband for 3 years now. When i met him he was addicted to Crystal meth and weed. I am currently on my last year of college and i will be graduating with a bachelors in Criminal Justice.

When i met him and he told me about his addictions i told him that i could not be in a relationship with someone who does drugs because of my future career and simply because you cant have a family and live a normal life like that. He said he really liked me and that he was willing to quit, and that he had been looking for a reason to stop,and that i would be the reason he would stop.

So, i decided to give him a chance we started dating and everything was great and then we decided to get married and start a life together. Everything was great until a couple months ago. We been fighting a lot and have been arguing just about any little thing. So just recently like 3 days ago when we were arguing he said i have to talk to you seriously about something. So then i was like okay. He pretty much confessed to me that he has been smoking crystal meth for about 2 1/2 years,that he was only clean for the first 6 months of our marriage. And he said, he cant be himself when his with me and that he doesn't want to lie to me anymore so that's what he wants me to know. He said you either like me the real way i am and that's a drug addict or you can leave me.

I broke down in tears and cried for about 3 days in a row. I am just so confused on what to do. I love him so much and i don't wanna leave him but i also know that he might never quit. The next day he talked to me again and he said i want to talk to you again and explain to you what happened and he said i know some things i said did not come out the way i wanted. He confessed to me that he was high on meth when he was telling me everything and he apologized because things did not come out the right way. He explained to me that because of his job is requiring him to work 7 days, 7a m to 4pm, he uses just enough to get through hos work weeks. He said he only uses a little bit, way less than his regular use that he had been using before he met me. And that he will stop but i have to help him, he wants me to help him stop by reducing his stress level at home and being more loving to him.

I decided to stay with him and hopefully he will change. But part of me knows that he might not change. I love him and it hurts me to know that i might have to leave him. I am so confused:(  {end story}

Wow, right?  Our opinion…get out now.  But our opinion doesn't matter, becuase it's not our life.  But here's our question, and what we see as the universal quality to this very specific story…have you ever found yourself in a relationship, romantic or otherwise, where loving someone just wasn't enough to make it work?  Let's #dfiscuss.  And remember, if you share your story maybe you can help change hers. 

 

41 comments

  • Anonymous

    Posted on November 11, 2011

    This is my story thanks for posting it, i hope i get some good advice, that’s really what i am looking for. The reason i never noticed it was because, he eats normal and sleeps at night. He has become good at hiding it, i think because he has been on it for a long time. Like i said he uses enough to get him through his work day,according to him. i know crazy.

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  • A2

    Posted on November 11, 2011

    Damn. I mean, damn. I do not know anyone who’s been on meth or even done it I don’t think. From everything I’ve ever heard it doesn’t sound like this will end well unless he goes to get real treatment.

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    • L.K.

      Posted on November 11, 2011

      I agree. From your article, it sounds like your husband needs treatment and is not likely to embrace that fact. My only advice is do not think you can save him. You can help him save himself – maybe. This is work, like any addict, that he needs to do for himself. No one else, not even his loving wife, can do it for him.

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  • 20LAWannabe

    Posted on November 11, 2011

    I’ve never been married, so I’m not sure how qualified I am to give you advice, but your story reminded me of a situation I was in (not the same but I had the same feelings as you did) so I wanted to try to reach out. While you love your husband and I’m sure aside from the issues you stated here he’s a great guy, he will never be able to give you what you want. You have this ambition for an amazing career and a family and I’m sorry to say it won’t happen with him. Now that you’re aware of the situation, you might be worrying about him instead of focusing on yourself. Your significant other should be a partner to you. He should lift you up and make you better and be there for your needs. You don’t deserve to have less than that. While love is so hard to leave behind, I don’t see any way that you can be truly fulfilled if you stay in your marriage. I know it’s hard to find a new partner (trust me!) but it will be better than this. Putting aside the fact that he concealed this addiction from you, and who knows what else he’s lied about, it’s a dangerous situation for you. This isn’t I’m smoking a little weed when I’m stressed. It’s meth. I want you to know I do not pass judgement on you at all. This is a really difficult situation that I’m sure you’ve agonized over since you found out, and it’s your choice to do whatever you like. But, sometimes I like it when people give me the straight talk and tell me when something won’t work. I don’t want you to wake up a few years down the road realizing that you gave up everything you wanted for yourself just to stay with him.

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    • Anonymous

      Posted on November 11, 2011

      Thanks everyone. ummm I don’t know what to tell you guys everything you guys say is true very true. I have been thinking about the situation over and over again and i guess i am trying to think over the fact that like you said its not weed were talking about its meth. And its a scary thing.

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      • VF

        Posted on November 11, 2011

        I wish I could tell you it will all work out. It is so hard to love someone who has an addiction like this one. Have you seen the statistics on meth recovery? It’s really grim. It is one of the hardest (if not THE hardest) drugs to quit. People cannot do it without an intensive rehab program. Even if he is only doing a little right now, he will do more. He will. Please think about yourself. If he gets into rehab, consider staying with him. If he doesn’t, you need to get out and save yourself. Sorry to be so blunt. I have been there, so I know.

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  • 20LAWannabe

    Posted on November 11, 2011

    One more thing to add. If you guys do have children, would you want them to be exposed to that type of behavior, or a father with addiction? I’m sure you wouldn’t and as much as you’d like to think someone will change when they become a parent, they don’t. I wish you the best of luck in your situation Anonymous. xo

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    • Anonymous

      Posted on November 12, 2011

      Thank you everyone. I really appreciate your guys going out your way to read my story and in giving me some advice. I appreciate. I am thinking of all the possible solutions. I have’d talked to him about going to rehab and he said he would do anything to try to quit for the sake of our relationship. I trust him right now, but i have told him start out that i need to see a change soon, and that he needs to help me, help him so that he can help himself. Because at the end this is his life and his mental health and physical health that he is affecting by using. About the children part we had talked in the past about wanting kids, and we were trying but since he told me about his addiction i have decided to stop trying because it would not be a good thing with him being a addict. Thank Everyone!!!!

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      • Anonymous

        Posted on November 25, 2015

        I would like to talk with you. I am going through the same thing . you told my life story. Except I’ve been doing this for 18 years. My husband has been through rehabx3 mental institutions, jail. You name it as narcotivmcs anonymous. He manages to stay clean for a few days then back. I have alot

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on November 12, 2011

    I am so sorry for the incredibly difficult situation that you’re in. I am sure he has plenty of wonderful qualities, seriously – he must, or you wouldn’t have fallen in love with him, because I can tell from your post you are smart with a lot going for you. But I want to urge you to get out now — I mean really, get out now, and as hard as it is, don’t look back. He’s been lying to you for at least 2.5 years – most of your marriage. He is also addicted to a powerful drug that, as others have pointed out, is nearly impossible to get off of, even for those who really, really want to quit. Since he’s still making excuses for it and trying to justify his usage (e.g., “I have to do it for work”), he is definitely not in that category of people who truly want to quit, regardless of what he says. Most concerning of all, though, is the fact that he is starting to shift responsibility for his drug usage to you. When he says he needs you to help him quit by making his home life less stressful and being more loving, he is setting you up for it to be YOUR fault when he keeps using. Maybe not maliciously or intentionally, but that’s exactly what he’s doing. Unfortunately, he’s an addict — a long-term addict — and no amount of loving behavior or stress reduction on your part will change that. When he keeps using, he’ll either blame you and/or you’ll feel guilty, as if *you* are failing somehow — which will only take the focus off the fact that *he’s* the one with the problem, and will give him an excuse to keep using, and make it harder and harder for you to leave him. This is laying the groundwork for an abusive and controlling relationship, where you are always striving for the impossible: curing his addiction through your behavior. That is simply not possible. (I know, from personal experience, how much we can wish we could change someone else’s addiction – if only it were that easy! But we can’t. We really, really can’t.) Unfortunately, addictions are progressive, so this will only get worse. And people change, the deeper they get into their addiction, particularly as they get desperate for money needed to feed the addiction – they may become violent and lose the capacity to care for others like they would have if they were not in the grip of this addiction. And that loss of ability to care can manifest in many ways, all of them awful for you. I’m so, so glad you’re no longer trying for kids – having a child with this man would tie you to him, in one way or another, forever, and seriously limit your options for moving on with your life without him. But no birth control is 100% effective, and mistakes happen, so as long as you’re with him, children are a possibility. I’m sure it doesn’t feel this way, but the very best thing he ever did for you was this: He said you either like me the real way i am and that’s a drug addict or you can leave me. Often in life, people tell us the truth about themselves, if we will just be open and listen. This was one of those moments, and he’s right that those are your options. The option I imagine you so desperately want, because who wouldn’t? — the option where you can be with him and he’s not an addict, he’s not lying to you, he’s not asking you to fix him — is, sadly, not available to you. You have way, way too much going for you to stay in this marriage. My heart goes out to you, because leaving will not be easy, and there’s a lot of pain and heartbreak involved. But I promise you, the pain and heartbreak of leaving will be *nothing* compared to the pain and heartbreak of staying. Please, get out now – you owe it to yourself, your future children, and the great guy out there that is waiting to get to know you, to support you, and to be the kind of partner that 20LAWannabe described – to lift you up, be there for you, support you, and take on the world with you. You deserve that, and you have the opportunity now to go get it. And you know what, it’s hard but it’s not impossible – I know because I’ve done it. And I’m grateful every day for the choice I made – not to sound corny, but I ended up with the best guy in the world, and I love love love our life together. All the very best to you – you will be in my thoughts. Take care.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on November 14, 2011

    Thanks! I wish she had read it, or will read it.

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    • Pam

      Posted on February 4, 2017

      I read it and cried cause you said save yourself and I know that’s what I have to do. I I love him tho and it’s hard. Ty for your post. Trust me… Ppl are reading this in 2017

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on November 15, 2011

    Thank you all very much, i read it, it took me a while to respond because i been thinking a lot about everything and just analyzing things in my head. Thank you very much Anonymous i understand and accept everything you said and it is all true. Thanks for your great advice, thank you i really appreciate i know things will be okay.

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  • Anne R.

    Posted on February 4, 2012

    I just stumbled across this and I know it’s a few months old, so I hope things are getting better. However, I doubt they are, and here’s why: Meth is one of the MOST difficult addictions for people to recover from, and that’s not only because of all of the usual problems with the way addicts think, but also because of the serious changes that happen in the brain when someone uses meth. You can google this topic and see brain imaging which shows you the differences between a healthy brain and a brain of a meth addict (or even someone who has been off meth for a year).

    I am not telling this to scare you, but just to give you the facts. Also, as you have already discovered, addicts lie and manipulate. That’s just the way they are. Until he gets clean, you can’t really know how he’ll be in a relationship. If he won’t go to rehab, get help for yourself through Al-Anon, which is for friends and family of alcoholics and addicts. Unless you live in a very remote location, there are probably meetings going on every day somewhere near you. They key is to take care of yourself, because you CAN”T CHANGE HIM. Good luck.

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    • Jane

      Posted on May 16, 2013

      I tried to change someone. i lost myself, my dignity and any hope of the future i had envsioned. it turned ME into the monster. this is what that did to me..we’ve all had our feelings hurt by someone we love or loves us. it is not an emotionally pleasent feeling. i allowed those hurt feelings to develope into bitterness, i was unable to accept what was, and blamed others. it is how i react to those feelings that define my character, my ability to love & have acceptance. bitterness was a feeling of deep anger & ill will, it went hand in hand with spite. bitterness disconnected me from love & acceptance, it became an impediment, a barrier. by clinging, by demanding & “wanting to change” someone, for what i thought was good, i allowed my hurt feelings to overcome me, to get the better of me. anger set in. rather than forgiving the hurt and moving on, which is what love would do, love of self and others, i stewed over it and allowed it to fester in my heart & mind like lava in a volcano. I was just as sick as the user. i allowed those hurts to build bitterness within me because i lacked the ability to give allowances of grace to others regardless of what i thought was “right”. i attempted to hold & bind others to my pain, even if it was unintentional, i was then set to lash out in anger from my own spite & bitterness, not from what someone else had done. i complained about what others had done and now i was doing the very same thing. because i lashed out in pain, i allowed the hurt to get the better of me and control me. i am imperfect. i am sorry i did not have the grace available to act as i would have liked. this is one of the hardest lessons i have had to learn. addictions screw us from the very start. i am recovering in a 12 step program, and after 4 years this is how I acted. us addicts are an undiciplined lot, but we can change, it is a tough road to trudge, but a road worth trudging. i really agree with the post above, if you are not a user, look into Al-Anon Family Groups, they are everywhere and may help you side step the pitfalls i have encountered.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on April 29, 2012

    THis is total crap. Get. out. now. I was married to a meth addict and IT WILL NOT GET BETTER. it will get worse and then you will have no money because he will steal your credit card and take your money. He’s already blaming you- be more loving- that is crap. He just wants you to enable his addiction. DONT DO IT! GET OUT! You will save your life because he might get violent and kill you. I got out just in time and I am thankful every day to be alive. The recovery rate for this drug is 90% GO BACK TO IT and NEVER RECOVER- I found this out from an addition specialist. You are worth more than this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on April 29, 2012

    I mean addiction specialist, not addition specialist. ha

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on April 29, 2012

    I found this other person’s story on another site and she words her situation well:

    He’s an addict, so he’ll have every excuse in the book to use. He’ll continue wiping you out financially and emotionally too. He needs to get help, and clean up. If he won’t, you need to leave. Meth is soooo dangerous-as you’ve already witnessed, it changes the person’s entire demeanor and who they are. It causes extreme paranoia…among other things.

    An acquaintance of mine became paranoid that his neighbor was sneaking his meth, so he shot him. No joke…it’s a very deadly drug, and will cause the user to have ZERO emotion whatsoever.

    I spoke with police officers who were on scene right after the incident…the wife of the shooter was high on meth too…her husband just shot someone in front of her and her children..he was being arrested and she wasn’t shedding a tear. Not one bit of emotion whatsoever. She didn’t care.

    I’d run. Run run run away…till he got clean. Meth is awful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on May 14, 2012

    I too also am a survivor I had the strength and grace of God to escape this relationship from a meth addict. I now fight to stay away from them because they are everywhere especially in church and they all use the same strategy. Love then guilt then manipulation and the lies just so that you can support them and their lifestyle. Get out and be glad that your out. Defend yourselves ladies. Stand firm.

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    • RT

      Posted on January 5, 2016

      I am living this horrible dream. Married 36 years to my high school sweat heart He has been smoking meth now for over5 years. I just found out over a year ago. I was finding it everywhere, along with the pipe. Always told me it wasn’t his I would believe him Toll it all started to come together, he started asking crazy questions , accusing me of cheating, Started getting mad over simple things. Come home late, up all night Hearing voices in our house ,said we had a ghost in the house. Ripped out our whole front yard said there were worms in the grass. Just crazy stuff. Then I found out he had an affair with his cousins wife. That was it. He left because he didn’t want me accusing him of drugs And having affair This man was the love of my life. I don’t know who he is. But the man he was would never walk away from his family. And leave all his belongings My 3 grown daughters and I are divested He is living on her ranch At times in his truck. Or in a back room. Or a hotel. We make good money. Should I say he use to. He hasn’t worked in 8 mo. Due to the fact. While he was high I’m sure , he fell of his truck and broke his leg and and tore every ligament in his leg. He text me every night to tell me he loves me. But I will not take him back. He has caused so much pain and hurt. I’ve been hospitalize Twice for axiety And have been going to councling. Lost my mother,lost my husband . But I have Gods strength with me , I just pray for my husband every day to get better. But first he needs to accept that he’s an addict. Right now it’s about ME. Because I can’t help him. And it hurts But he chose his path. I hope and pray for all of us that are going through this horrible dream.

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  • Not a game

    Posted on August 1, 2012

    You are powerless over the drug meth, please accept this and detach. You are not responsible for his recovery. When you love a spouse and take your vows seriously until death do you part and in sickness and in health well if you stay with him there will eventually be no more you there to bear his habit and you will be lost. When you are used up he will move on but it will not be someone as good as you it will be one such as himself. He’s already justified he will find confirmation with another. I was told by my sheriff when my ex husband was on the run after abusing me that he is not human he is not thinking with a humanistic brain, do not try and reason with him. I was also told to repeat after him, if confronted with my ex, who by the way had built to a crescendo of rage, to repeat these exact words, while gun in my hand after shooting him, “I shot and killed my husband, he was threatening my life”. I understand what he meant, so the realization finally hit me that , this is not going to end as it should end and it shouldn’t come to this, God listens, it’s called detach with love , leave the situation , remove yourself totally. You will be more equipped mentally to ask God to take over and follow your husband and watch over him , cause you can not and will not ever be able to save him. This is very unfortunate cause we all want to conquer and give our ultimate love for a cared one. Meth does have a life and every soul it decides to try and host, they ultimately give more life to it, meth is a very much alive demon and growing stronger by the life it is given. The great deceiver and these characteristics bleed from a meth user, first off the meth term , user has two meanings, the host is a user a user of persons. Meth is a highly manipulative person and very believable . They do have the best teacher, Satan . Please detach and never feel guilty for the detachment. You will mourn but you will have gotten stronger mentally and this demon will not get his way, you will be free to say a prayer every day. Take all advice on leaving I promise you it will be the best thing you could ever do. If he doesn’t recover on his own from within there is no blame on you. Please bury all guilt, give it away this is the right thing to do.

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    • Anonymous

      Posted on April 6, 2014

      this is 4/2014 I have just read your comment and I cant tell you enough how much it has answered and enlightened me ! prayer and letting go so that God can do the work. ive been married 3 mth and just found a small bag of meth in my husbands pocket. he told me he quit (again) but Jesus always reveals the truth !
      I will read your post 2 more times…… just so that I can really sink it into my head that this is my answer !! Thankyou!!
      TLC

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    • aftonwolf

      Posted on October 25, 2016

      This is the truth, I lived it! So perfectly put…Thank you.

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  • Kanonymous

    Posted on July 9, 2013

    I have been dating a man for 3 months now and it was a whirlwind romance and we both fell in love. He was very honest with me, or so I thought aout his past drug addiction and Crystal just happened to be his drug of choice. When we met he said that he had been clean 6-7 years and that he sometimes dabbled in stuff sometimes when camping with the guys, but a few times a year at most. I asked what it was that he “dabbled in” and his response was Cocaine and stuff like that…I told im right then that it was a deal breaker and I won’t be with someone that even dabbles in that.. It was the very beginning of our relationship and hasn’t been discussed until last night when he told me that it was Crystal Meth that he dabbles in a few times a year and then proceeded to tell me that he’s not addicted to it but he won’t promise me that he won’t do it again because it would be a lie and he doesn’t want to lie to me.
    He told me that he liked it, it was fun and he doesn’t want that life anymore but once in a while its fun. I was very upset and now at an impass. I told him that he needed to quit or loose me. I don’t want my son who adores him to be around it(which he swore I would never be around it or know when he’s done it because I won’t see it)He told me he’s not ready to quit yet and that this is who he is and what he does….as if the crystal was a part of him, I think it shocked him when I pointed out how much of an addict he sounded like.
    He swears up and down that this will never take control of his life again and that its not a big deal to do it now and then. he says he’ll never go back to doing it all the time, but I can’t trust that. I think deep down I know that if i stay there will be broken promises and slips to deal with. He says he doesn’t want to loose me over it, he loves me etc but he was also very adamit about not being “ready to quit” I don’t know what to do. He’s asking me toi trust him but I have a little boy to think about, a little who would be devistated it I left him but crushed to find out that his buddy is very flawed. I don’t know what to do. I love this man but I am not the person married to the addict. I am not the person that turns out to be the fool because I didn’t know my husband has been doing meth everyday and I didn’t know (hypothetical situation as of now)
    I’m scared to death to trust and there is a lot more talking to be done. But any advise would be appreciated.

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    • Cinda

      Posted on July 11, 2013

      Kanonymous,

      No one can make this decision for you but it kind of sounds like you already know what to do when you write “I think deep down I know that if i stay there will be broken promises and slips to deal with…I love this man but I am not the person married to the addict.”

      If you read some of the other comments here, I think the advice would be to leave sooner not later.

      Good luck to you and your son.

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  • anne

    Posted on May 30, 2014

    Unfortunately, the spirit is willing and the body is weak. Physiologically meth and a lot of other drugs change the way the brain functions. The mind and body become accustomed to the dopamine hits and it becomes very hard to break these habits. They also can cause irreparable brain damage. A lot of addicts are literally the walking dead. They can’t focus, lose cognitive abilities like memory and critical thinking. I’m an ER nurse who sees the effects. Most drug addicts become selfish and think very little about the consequences of their actions. Meth is so strong that a lot end up dead, after being told that if they don’t quit they will die, they still keep doing it. I’ve also had several out of body experiences and drug users look just as terrible in the afterlife. Save yourself and get out now. The mental, emotional abuse, financial hardship that addicts put their families through is incredible. When you try to control another’s behaviour by setting limits you break the law of freewill. Everyone is responsible for their own actions and it doesn’t matter if you love him/her. Don’t mistake being a good person with staying with an addict. When you’re constantly covering someone’s behind, they will never learn, for example financially subsidizing them. You can end up feeling used and uncared for. Don’t think they will be there when you need them. They can not be depended upon.

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  • roy

    Posted on January 27, 2015

    Wow! The more I read the less hopeful I feel as an addict.
    I am a user with a family. Was a heavy user before I married but when I married I stopped but been relapsing often. Sometimes I use heavily for a whole week or more. Some other times I stay up2 or 3 days. But no matter how much I use, I never stop caring for my wife and my 7 month child. I’ve always had a job, in fact I just moved to a better paid one without getting fired from the other one and I am currently thinking about going to jr college so I can earn more for my family. I am lazy and if I wasn’t married I would have stayed with my old job forever no matter if I was an addict or not.

    My point is: I know I have a problem but my will is strong even if I am using, I know I have responsabilities and acomplished them no mattyer how hard it is to function when using. I al

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    • Anonymous

      Posted on April 2, 2015

      Roy you are very rare to be so responsible I applaued you for your honesty. But that is not the majority of Meth Addicts. I lost my marriage of 8 years and almost my life to a Meth addicted husband. He had anger issues already then when he was coming down I would get abused. Family of addicts and abusers he knows nothing else and a enabler for a mother. I tried to help as I loved him but he thought I was the one who needed help. I hate METH and pray that you can stop one day. You seem like you really love your wife and baby.

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    • Mike

      Posted on July 1, 2015

      I am like Roy- I am a meth user and have a job. I wish I could say it doesn’t effect my life but it does. I have never shot or smoked it but I do snort it two to three days a week. it is difficult to act “normal” I meam people have figured it out. I even faked going to a rehab. I took the money bought some meth and spent a month at the beach. The people who were trying to confirm I was in rehab weren’t given any information due to hippa laws protecting privacy. I would give a bump or a few dollars to a college student to call my family for a general report. Yea I feel guilty as hell but Im still in the same boat but with a nice tan. Don’t know where it will end but I feel my days are numbered!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on January 20, 2016

    Walking away from a meth husband or partner is the best decision one can ever make in his or entire life. Do not be an ” Emotional Hostage”. Meth users cheat, lie, manipulate and deceive. They are the best actors and the best drama in the world only to full you around. They are gone for days and show up the next day without you knowing where he was and who he was with.
    Today you can be the angel in the sky the next time you are a monster in his life. He said I love you today, I hate you tomorrow. You are the best today and you can be the worst for him tomorrow. It’s a roller coaster ride emotions.
    You must leave now before it consumes you and your sanity.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on January 21, 2016

    If only I could turn back the time, how i wish i would never have loved a man who was hooked into meth. Being in a relationship with an addict live in partner for almost 3 years made me insane. He was gone especially at midnight and when he is being asked he just said he bought a cigarette at the store. Bought a cigarette and gone for two to four hours? He’s gone at night and would tell you that he has a transaction for the deed of sale of land that is why he could not get home early. Would you believe selling a piece of land to someone at wee hours? say he would tell you that his friends invited him to for the sale of scrap in order to earn a living. The following day when he’s home there was no money. It was a hell like relationship.
    Your husband should have been the first one to secure your safety and security at home especially during wee hours or midnight but he’s gone. When you asked him about meth, he kept on denying.

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    • broken heart wife

      Posted on March 20, 2016

      I am going through the same thing now and I try pulling him away from everyone in his circle that provides drugs in general to him. He is gone in middle of night uses working late as excuse he left home when I was sleeping claiming to meet up with cousin to walk to the store for cigarettes it all was a lie he was tweaking I’ve notice also had drug addicts in our driveway he was upset or get mad every time I confront him I don’t know how to help him get clean and stay that way. He is violating his parole I don’t know how to deal with him anymore.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on March 14, 2016

  • Anonymous

    Posted on May 12, 2016

    He is fond of playing the blaming game. He is full of remorse in his life, desperate and always fatigue. He can sleep without eating for a day. Sometimes he text you and sometimes he does not care about you. He has always been telling me that he is not using or he will change for good. But my, the roller coaster ride emotions been there! One time he’ll tell you how much he loves you and misses you so much. And then when something’s irritates him then he’ll get mad and go away from you. He would always be the one who initiates the break up in the relationship and does not communicate for a month. And then when he starts missing you, he kept on texting you ” I miss you” , ” I still love you”… It’s really roller coaster ride of emotions. He does not provide for you an emotional security. He’s gone for days and you don’t know where he was and whom he was with. One time , you’ll be the most wonderful woman he has ever met. And then when anger rages him, you’ll be the worst woman he ever loved. He even told me he was wrong in loving me but when he starts missing me he’ll tell me he still loves me. It will really consume your sanity my God.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on May 14, 2016

    I am so sorry. I have been a meth addict 2 years now. It blew me away. It moved so fast that breaking down the events into a timeline breaks me down. My dear husband. God he loved me so much. I assume he probably still does but I CAN tell you this. Never, not once in the last 2 years did I even think I had a problem. Dss, jail, completing not even the simplest of tasks, baby out of wedlock, but “none of this” was caused by meth. I’ve done drugs since I was 11 but this was evil. And please listen to this last part, I will NEVER be the person he fell in love with. Not even close. I have been accepted into a rare 6 month program and can bring my 2 month old with me. I’ve never had this opportunity. Never to get adequate treatment. My husband will now be a full time daddy to our 2 daughters (6 and 4) who dss has finally given custody to. Even though he passed every test and is the hardest worker I’ve ever met. He tells me he doesn’t want me going into rehab with my new son and expecting our marriage to be. He doesn’t mean it. I know him. I learned him. I know that he wants so badly for it to be true. I am lucky to have hit rock bottom because now I’m finally facing this. He learned me too. Then everything he thought knew was ripped apart within 6 months of starting. He does not know who I will be come Christmas time. The one thing I can promise is that I am grasping this opportunity with all I got. Because my children need this. They deserve for me to be alive. I know my husband feels very rejected. I’m leaving my once picture perfect family behind in a home I recreated for him and the girls while waiting on my spot to open. Got them enrolled in new schools, but still I’m leaving with my son from an affair to treatment. Logically, it couldn’t have panned out better. But I want to let him go. He really deserves it. But I’m so screwed because no matter what, it is going to be agonizing for him. Your husband is gone. It’s so screwed up because it all sounds so naïve but it isn’t. It’s true heartbreak. I am always reading these stories. I don’t ever want to let it slip memory. His hurt and pain that would never exist if not for me. Again I am sorry.

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  • Laura

    Posted on June 13, 2016

    I am the mother of two and engaged to a man who has the same issue. Let me tell you, add children to the mix and your in for a very difficult rocky road roller coaster of a ride. Finances, parenting, and a partnership will all come at a costly emotional price.where lots of tears and hardship will follow.I’ve heard that Love conquers all and if you believe that too and Love him enough to sacrifice yourself and to believe in something greater knowing that it can and will come with hardship and your up for the challenge so be it. You may or may not get to the finish line together but if he is worth it for you then so be it.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on April 23, 2017

    Hi I have a meth addict husband that I have lived with for three yrs now . I started noticing he’s on meth and then started finding pipes I confront him and he begs for another chance and I give him chance after chance every week. I also love him and have a good time with him that’s the only reason why it’s so hard to let him go. To the lady that wrote this just be careful so you don’t do it either I hated drugs and I have never touch them I’m 30 years old since being married to him I’ve done it already twice this is how lots of girls start doing drugs loving their husbands not leaving them trying it with them getting hooked becoming attics themselves

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