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WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Ms.

6 comments | January 21st, 2012

(submitted by OOC)

This was a question Maureen Dowd from the NYT asked about and during the hearings for Supreme Court Justice Kagan.  We've been talking to a lot of unmarried women lately, friends and such, and it seems more than a couple of them wold feel better being in a bad marriage than no marriage at all.  We don't get it, but who are we to judge what works for them?

What do you think?  Is the difference between single and unmarried age or a mindset?  And what about you…would you rather be (or have been) in a bad marriage than no marriage at all?  Is marriage something you think completes your expectations of self?  Let's talk about it.

 

6 comments

  • Katie

    Posted on January 26, 2011

    For the woman, mindset. For the outside world, age.

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  • OOC

    Posted on January 26, 2011

    Hi Katie – Why do you think society makes that judgment? How can we change that, or at least not care about it? XO, OOC

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    • Barb

      Posted on January 21, 2012

      Society likes to pigeon-hole people, define them.
      Are you male or female?
      Old or young?
      Black or white?
      Single or in a relationship?
      Kids, no kids>
      College or not?
      On and on and on.

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  • Must Be Unmarried

    Posted on January 21, 2012

    When I was a girl, growing up, I was sure I’d have been married with my 2.5 kids by the time I was 30. I got engaged at 27 but we broke it off 3 months later (a good decision, looking back on it). Now, I am 38, have never been married and do not have my 2.5 kids. The closer I get to 40, with no love in sight, the more I think about having children without a partner, the more certain I become that I’ve made that transition from single to unmarried. It’s not what I expected just what I am. I’ve gotten comfortable with it. It is okay.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on January 21, 2012

    It is a mindset, and not a happy one.

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  • Katherine

    Posted on January 23, 2012

    Maybe it’s a matter of intent… When you’re young, you just seemingly happen to not be married and are, therefore, single. As you mature/get older, its seen as either a conscious choice or a failing, but it’s also becomes more of a distinguishing feature. It seems more noticeable to be without a spouse at 35 than at 22.

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