Readers Write




Some New Things

2 comments | May 8th, 2012

(story submitted by L, a Chestist)

I've been with my guy for 3 years and everything's great.  I do kind of want to try some new things in the bedroom and am afraid he'll think I'm weird and get turned-off.  How do I ask him to try something? {end story}

Alright everybody, any advice?


  • Lily

    Posted on May 8, 2012

    Separate the knowing from the doing.

    That is, don’t go into your conversation with your sweetheart with two aims: one, for him to know a little more about your sexuality and two, the fervent hope that he will want to do wonderful awful kinky things to you.

    Go in with one aim: to let him know “I like these things. This is part of my sexuality.” Don’t go on to the pitch right away: the “and I’d really like to try them (with you!).”

    We can’t expect our partners to want to do everything that we really like. But we can and should expect our partners to be kind when we reveal something personal and private about our sexuality to them.

    If he reacts to your revelation by calling you names, or implying that there’s something wrong with you? Sad to say it, but a guy or gal who does that is a jerk.

    If he reacts positively — in a kind way — then even if the stuff you’re into doesn’t float his boat, you still get the advantage of greater trust and intimacy.

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  • JungleQueen

    Posted on May 9, 2012

    Lily really hit the nail on the head. My husband and I have been married six years this year, and only within… maaaybe the past year or less have I felt comfortable telling or asking him to do things in the bedroom. I was very concerned he would think less of me for what turns me on, but he was totally for it. Keep it spicy, and your significant other will love the fact that you opened up your most intimate secrets to them. How much more intimate does it get than that? Like, my husband is reeeally into dancing, and I’ve always been to embarrassed our whole marriage until recently…. I even dropped a few pounds from adding my ‘performance’ to our sex life. Win/Win in my opinion.

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