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Not As Pretty As I Want To Be

7 comments | October 31st, 2012

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist, now on OOC rewind)

We're assuming this comes from one of our younger readers.  Any advice from any of you who've been there before?  Here's what she's got to share:

I always felt really sad for not being as pretty as I wanted to be.

Then I had a nose-job and I was sure I would feel better, because it's an expensive plastic surgery that is supposed to make you look better (even if it's not that much) but never worse. It turns out I look worse.

I had this surgery 6 months ago and I've been crying since then. Not only because I still don't feel pretty, but because I actually miss my face. I looked better before. I'm disappointed and now I don't have any hope. I totally regret this surgery. I wish I could go back 6 months and tell myself that I looked just fine. Now I can't even take pictures 'cause my nose looks bent. I try to think "It's just a little imperfection" but that makes me angry, because I wasn't born with it, it was a surgeon's fault…

All I ever wanted was to have a really good picture of myself.  If you have a facebook page you need to have at least a profile picture. If you go to a party, they take your picture. In school, you are forced to take a lot of pictures too. I'm sick of it! I'm tired of this superficial world but there's just no way out.  {end story}

There's so many parts to this story…not feeling pretty enough, surgery gone awry, the sense that the world is superficial and judges us on that which we'd rpefere not to be judged.  What do you think?  What can you add, share or suggest?  Come on, bring it….she'll appreciate it and so will we.
 

 

7 comments

  • Anonymous

    Posted on December 23, 2011

    We do live in a very superficial world, and it is really hard not to get sucked into the hype. Any chance you can try to shift your focus to other parts of yourself that you like? Are you smart? Funny? Empathic? Athletic? C’mon girl, I know there’s more to you.

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  • Jeanne

    Posted on December 25, 2011

    First of all, you are not alone!

    I’m reading The Lolita Effect by M. Gigi Durham right now and I think you would benefit from reading it too. Unfortunately, advertisers, TV shows and movies are creating this narrow, and frankly for most of us, unattainable definition of attractive/sexy. (It sells a LOT of products and makes a LOT of money.) And then our friends and neighbors, swimming in the same sea of lies, reinforce it. I would recommend reading books along this vein; The Beauty Trap, The Body Project, Deadly Persuasion, Packaging Girlhood, Female Chauvinist Pigs, plus there are more.

    It will raise your consciousness so that you understand why you did what you did and how you feel. And with that new personal power, you could continue to share your story and help others and stop living in the world where it’s all about your appearance and not your beautiful soul and smart mind.

    So many women have made these choices, been harmed by surgery (look at the breast augmentation/cancer story going on now in France), fallen into this trap. We need you to be a voice, to tell your story, to help us start changing the status quo. Be an inspiration to young girls and help them make better choices. You can do it!

    You can have a wonderful, fulfilling life despite what happened to you. And you can reclaim your power and leave a mark on this world.

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  • OOC

    Posted on December 25, 2011

    Jeanne, what an amazing Xmas present you’ve given to this writer (and no batteries necessary). Thanks for sharing what you know and of yourself. Quite a present to us here @OOC HQ too. Hoping the day and new year bring you so many things as valuable and enduring as what you’ve left here and for her. XO, OOC

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  • Ush

    Posted on May 8, 2012

    You know what? NO ONE is as pretty as they want to be. No model, no actress, no one. We all find and see our own “imperfections” and all have a picture in our minds of what we should look like. My point is only to say YOU ARE NOT ALONE. LET YOURSELF OFF THE HOOK. You have a lot of life in front of you. Live it!

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  • shelby

    Posted on May 31, 2012

    If you are not happy with the results, and especially if your nose is crooked, I would go back to the doctor, and either have him re do the surgery, or refund your money.

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  • Hanna

    Posted on June 8, 2014

    This might be very obvious i dont know, but if you want the world to change, and be less superficial then you have to change,
    stop thinking about how your looking and try to focus on others, and by that i dont mean start judging others.

    Because when im feeling down and unhappy with me as a person (looks or personality)Im always very quiet and shy, that’s why i think its a good idea to put all the attention on another person if your talking to them, then ask them about themselfs.

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