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WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Playing It (Much Too) Safe

7 comments | January 27th, 2012

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

Sometimes playing things safe hurts and hinders us a lot more than taking risks ever would.  Here's her story about just this:

I've made my life so safe – safe from rejection, safe from getting involved, safe from feeling, safe, safe, safe.

So much that I've numbed, denied, lied and just turned away from me, what I want, what I feel, my dreams, my hopes. I've become what I thought others would expect in order to be safe. No rocking the boat. Or causing anyone to reject or dislike me. So I'm in a jail of my own making. And fearful that I've ruined my life. I'm not a young girl anymore. I'm afraid I'm going to keep missing life since I can't get out of my own way.

This isn't the life that I wanted nor thought I'd have. It's amazing how wounds can shape our lives and choices. {end story}

It seems pretty easy to relate to this afterall, who hasn't taken the easy way out sometimes?  When sometimes becomes all the time, we may be playing it safe, but we risk losing ourselves and our happiness – which seems her point, beautifully and poignantly made.  What words do you have for her?  Our advice would be STOP PLAYING IT SAFE and START LIVING NOW.  Yea, it can be as easy and as hard as turning it all on or off in this moment, this now, in our opinion.  What about you?  Have you kept yourself from winning because you were afraid of losing?  Let's share the what, whens, and why's…and see if we can't learn from each other.

(P.S. The writer sent this story in with the title "Search for Authentic-Ness", and we wanted to acknowledge that.)

7 comments

  • Nia

    Posted on January 27, 2012

    Damn. I feel like this is me. I “play it safe” as a matter of course. I feel like I’ve always been afraid of speaking out or sticking up or taking a chance. Even when I was in school, every time I thought about raising my hand my heart would start beating super-fast. Now at work, every time I want to speak up in a meeting the same thing happens. I have no idea why, I just know I’m not as vanilla as I come across.

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  • Frisco Femme

    Posted on January 27, 2012

    I know, I know, it can sound like one big lottery commercial but I really believe you have to live large and be “in it to win it”, or what’s the point?

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on January 27, 2012

    We broke up 2 years ago. I still loved him. So much. I was afraid to tell him or to risk being embarrassed admitting to feelings for him that he no longer had for me. I didn’t say anything. I came to find he still had feelings too. I found out too late. I should have said something.

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  • Blue

    Posted on January 27, 2012

    Your words are so me

    “I’ve numbed, denied, lied and just turned away from me, what I want, what I feel, my dreams, my hopes. I’ve become what I thought others would expect in order to be safe.”

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on January 28, 2012

    To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
    (Oscar Wilde)

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on February 1, 2012

    I won’t lie, this quote is a little harsh; but goddamnit, it’s true. It’s by an author named Christopher Gutierrez. He’s amazing.

    “you know that feeling when you’re in class and you want to raise your hand to disagree, to add to the discussion? that nervous energy that prevents you from raising your hand and hearing your own voice? the one that makes your heart race? that nervous energy wins when you keep your hand safely on your desk and miss the opportunity to add your two cents.
    thats what failure feels like.
    thats the feeling of you giving up a little more of your life.
    thats when you throw away your votes.
    and unless you want to take your place in the list of billions of fakes, sheep and ****, the next time you have something to say, raise your f*cking hand.”

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