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WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Scared to Leave

16 comments | March 13th, 2012

(story submitted anonymously, by a 22 year-old Chestist)

We couldn't help but think of that Jack Nicholson line "you can't handle the truth."  Sometimes the truth is hard to handle.  Here's hers:

My story: I think my relationship is over and I'm too scared to leave. [end story.]

12 words, and a whole big story.  Ever been in her shoes, Chestists?  Knowing or at least being pretty sure something's over…a relationship, a friendship, a job…but being too scared to leave because of what may or may not be on the other side?  What was it?  What'd you do?  Sounds like sister could use some advice, so please, share…

16 comments

  • Lisa N

    Posted on August 29, 2011

    I dated this same guy for 5 years in and then right out of college. 5 years! Looking back on it, there’s no way we both didn’t know it was over like 3 weeks in, but we both stuck with it and with it and with it.

    Even after we graduated, we moved to the same cities to be near each other. The only way out of this for either of us was if one of us asked the other to marry them, which would force us to finally confront what we had and did not have.

    So I made the leap, and asked him to marry me. He said no, and I’ve never been so happy and so relieved. We stayed in touch for a while afterwards and used to joke that if we’d gotten married we’d have already been divorced.

    We were scared to let go and didn’t until we got more scared to stay in it. DO not wait. When it’s over, it’s over. I should have been strong enough after the first 3 weeks not the 5 years.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on August 29, 2011

    It can be really scary to leave what you know, even if it’s bad, and have to face what you don’t know. When it’s bad though, it’s bad and when it’s over — get out and get on.

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  • Paulina T.

    Posted on August 29, 2011

    We can all get really comfortable being uncomfortable. It’s like that expression about hitting your head against the wall and how god it feels when you stop. Stop hitting your head against the wall, it will feel good.

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  • Trapped

    Posted on August 29, 2011

    I am a young mom of 2, and the relationship I am in is no good, but I have no $$$ and nowhere to go. It sucks.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on March 13, 2012

    There are ways to leave a relationship while staying in it. Take care of the children and yourself as you work to find a way out to what is better.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on March 13, 2012

    The bravest thing I’ve ever done is leave a relationship that was good but not good enough. I was so scared I’d never find anything better. I was even more scared to settle.

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  • Lauren

    Posted on March 13, 2012

    I have definitely been in your shoes and remember how impossible it felt to live without that relationship. It was really hard to let it go. At first I was terribly sad. Then I was terribly mad: why did I have to suffer so much for him? Why did he ask me to change so much? Why did I put up with it? I decided to try new stuff, tons of new things that had seemed impossible before. I joined a sports team (I am NOT athletic) and cut my hair and just kept myself busy. I was so much happier. It was a huge turning point for me. It was worth the brief pain for the enormous benefits. Rip it off like a bandaid.

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  • Birds of a Feather

    Posted on March 13, 2012

    So so so hard to get past some things. Wonder if you shouldn’t be more scared to stay because of what you give up by doing that. Your happiness matters.

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  • Alex

    Posted on March 13, 2012

    Sometimes it hurts longer, I’m still waiting for the pain to fade…

    A

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