Sexual Double Standards

6 comments | June 17th, 2012

(story submitted by DS, a Chestist)

My best guy friend had a threesome and ever since he told me about it the first time I've had a fantasy about having one (not with him). 

I love sex.   2 guys and me — twice as many hands, tongues, lips, arms, legs and bodies doing all the things bodies do.  I mean, come on.

I don't think it's ever going to happen.  The perceptions of a guy who has a threesome is so different than if a girl does.  As archaic as I think that is I don't know if I can deal with it.  It's not like a lot of people would know but there's such a double standard.  Some fantasies are meant to stay fantasies I guess. {end story}

DS' story reminds us of Kevin Smith's movie Chasing Amy (with Ben Affleck).  You think there's a sexual double standard for women and men?  What can we do to change it?


  • Lily

    Posted on June 17, 2012

    Anybody who has two brain cells to rub together knows that there’s a sexual double standard when it comes to women. There’s no male equivalent for the word “slut,” now is there?

    The fact that a threesome with two men and a woman is considered scandalous and a threesome with two women and a man isn’t has a lot more going on than just sexism, though.

    It’s also about male privilege. (Having a man be the center of attention = good. Having a woman be the center of attention = bad).

    It’s also about homophobia. (OMG, seeing another guy naked might make me gay! What if he tries to kiss me!)

    Consider the fact that female bisexuality is so trendy that Katy Perry sings songs about it, and men love the idea of dating a bisexual woman, while bisexual men…well, they’re not quite as popular, are they?

    If you don’t want to get stuck in a sexual box that keeps you from expressing your true sexuality — start reading. Read blogs like Feministe, or Pervocracy, and google “sex positive feminism.”

    Don’t wait around for straight guys to get more liberated ideas about sex for you to be free. You’ll be waiting a long time.

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    • I Agree

      Posted on June 18, 2012

      A lot of girls I know had flings with other girls in college. Besides my gay friends, I don’t know any guy that has (admitted) to having any kind of a flirtation with same-sex sex.

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  • Lily

    Posted on June 17, 2012

    And? If you want it to happen? Be single and put it out on Craigslist. You can probably get two guys to your front door faster than you can get a pizza delivery.

    But if you want a decent experience (or a decent pizza), go a little slower than that 😉

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  • Nia

    Posted on June 18, 2012

    Lily’s right. The double standard is obvious. Will women ever overcome it as women and not just as individuals? I do not know. Our biological job is to procreate not enjoy the act of it.

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    • K.S.

      Posted on June 18, 2012

      I think about that sometimes in crowded places. Look around you and everyone you see everywhere started with a grunt and a groan from their father. I wonder how many women had orgasms as a % of our population. you know 100% of men did.

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    • Lily

      Posted on June 19, 2012

      We can only overcome it as women if a whole lot of us overcome it as individuals.

      We need to stop taking crap from men. We need to stop letting other people’s homophobia and sex-negative slut shaming control us and Be Us.

      I gotta tell ya, getting right with my sexuality was one of the three best things I ever did, right after getting an education and having my children. It was scary when I started doing the things that were actually real and compelling for me, but the sense of peace and happiness I have every single day now is something I wouldn’t ever change.

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