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WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

A Stay-at-Home-More Mom

6 comments | April 11th, 2012

(submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

I was working at home the other night.  I was trying to squeeze in what I thought was a last email, and a final look at something I needed for the morning.  I was only focused on what I was doing when I notices my youngest, who's 5 standing in the kitchen staring at me.  As she notices me noticing her, she says "mommy, why do you always work?"  I thought I was going to die and just felt so guilty.

I began trying to explain why I work a lot but everything seemed to fall short of being relevant.  Then I began to wonder why I do "always work", and wondered what I've missed because of it.  My career is really just beginning.  I love what I do and I'm good at it.  I'm not suited to being a stay-at-home mom.  I wish I was.  I can't help but wonder if I can be a stay-at-home-more mom.

In the battle on how to spend my time, it seems like for sure there's always going to be a loser. {end story}

You have any thoughts from being a parent or being a kid on how to strike a balance that seems so elusive?

 

 

6 comments

  • J:S

    Posted on April 11, 2012

    I’ve got no thoughts but lots of empathy.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on April 11, 2012

    I just read this article about Sheryl Sandberg who runs Facebook. She leaves her office everyday at 5:30 to get home for her kids dinner. It’s not that she stops working at 5:30 or ends her day then but she takes a family-break. I wish my boss would let me do that. These days isn’t everyone working 24/7? I need to make family time. My kids are growing up too fast.

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  • Other Side of the Coin

    Posted on April 11, 2012

    We got pregnant years before I thought we would. I was no kid, mind you, but I wanted to work and be with my husband for a while before having kids. I was 28 when our first was born and left my job to be a stay at home mom. We’re lucky, money is no issue for us, so I didn’t need to work and could devote myself to the most important thing I’d ever do. Now, she’s 6, her brother is 2 and I haven’t worked in 6 years. I’m tired of diapers and packing lunches and pick-ups and playdates. I want to use parts of my mind that I haven’t in too long. and I feel stuck. I don’t know what to do and so much of the working world has passed me by while I was picking up Cheerios. I don’t regret the decision we made even though I feel trapped by it now.

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    • MA

      Posted on April 11, 2012

      I feel like we are completely caught. I never thought I’d be a stay-at-home mom, but then I had my kids and just had to be the primary caregiver. I know at some point I will want to work again, but who will hire me? What would I want to do? It’s really hard. It makes me nervous, but I am trying to stay in the moment.

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      • Eva@OOC

        Posted on April 11, 2012

        We completely understand this, MA. Living in the moment is so much harder than it sounds. There are many of us striving towards that goal. Let us know if you have any tips. Thanks for sharing.

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  • Memory

    Posted on April 11, 2012

    My mom stayed home with us and them basically lost it when I was in 5th grade. She didn’t know who she was, etc. She shared way too many of her feelings with me, and it freaked me out. I am not even in a relationship yet, but I am focusing on my career, that’s for sure.

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