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Supposed To Be An Adult

11 comments | April 20th, 2012

(story submitted by JV, an 18 yo Chestist)

Sex and expectations can be a messy combination.  Here's her story:

I'm 6 weeks away from graduating High School. I don't know why but I don't want to go to college a virgin, and I still am.

I've had lots of boyfriends and 1 serious one, but I never felt ready to do that.  Now I do, and I don't have any one I want to do it with.  I'm torn between feeling like I should just do it and get it over with, find some random guy friend and pull him into a closet or something, and wanting it to be special on the other hand.

Most but not all of my friends have already done it.  Some were drunk, some were "in love", some just because they didn't see what the big deal was.  It was a big deal to me so I waited.  Now I'm wondering if I waited too long.  I know I'll have sex one day.  I just feel like I should now before I leave home.  It seems like you're supposed to be an adult at college and adults aren't virgins.  I know, it's so stupid it's just how I feel. {end story}

Any advice for this chestist?  Did you feel pressure before your first time ~ whether from your friends, your partner, or becuase of your age?  Was it something to get out of the way or cherish, or just a rite of passge?  Let's talk first time, and what (not who) we would do over again…if anything.

11 comments

  • Lana

    Posted on April 20, 2012

    The obvious advice is to wait until the time is right. It sounds like you have though. Now tat the time is right for you, I’d only suggest waiting for the guy to be right. Don’t do it just to do it. There will be plenty of time for that.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on April 20, 2012

    I know so many people who are supposed to be “adults” based on their number of birthdays but act like little children. Don’t worry about what an adult should have done. Worry about what you want to do and how you’ll feel after you have.

    Personally, I tend to think the rite of passage that’s losing one’s virginity is a bit overblown but you’ll nonetheless always remember it. Please try and keep that in mind too.

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  • Celia

    Posted on April 20, 2012

    I say do what you want when you’re ready and want to. Nothing matters but how you feel about it. it is your life, your body, your choice. Good luck!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on July 17, 2012

    Girl, I have been in your shoes. I waited to lose my virginity until I was in college, though not willingly. I never felt right or comfortable with any of the guys I dated. I came very close to having sex with guys I didn’t even like that much because I just wanted to get it over with.

    Anyways, in my sophmore year of college, I was really shocked to start dating someone that I actually cared about deeply. I didn’t wait until I was “in love” (whatever that means) and losing my virginity was relatively anti-climactic. But, it was very special having sex for the first time with someone who I felt comfortable with. The first time is a little awkward, so feeling comfortable is a huge deal. I personally think a lot of girls have traumatizing first times because they weren’t comfortable with themselves or with their partner. You have to be able to relax and just go with it. For a long time I felt like I waited too long, but now I’m so glad I waited for my boyfriend.

    In most ways, there is way too much hype around losing your virginity. But I think you will know when you’re ready. And if you’re still questioning yourself, maybe you aren’t there yet. That’s okay! You have so much time to have sex in your life. College is a time of exploration and experiencing new things, so I wouldn’t worry about it.

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  • FMB

    Posted on July 17, 2012

    Thanks, anonymous. Your reply is exactly why we created this whole feel more better thing to begin with. Sharing and caring…just like our nursery school rhymes taught us. Seriously, thanks again,

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