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Surviving Abuse

5 comments | July 23rd, 2012

(by Confused, a  Chestist)

I was in an abusive relationship for four years and it's taken me another four to deal with it after all the denial. I've been with my partner for almost three years and he really helped me come to terms with what happened.

It's been a relief to deal with it, but now I feel like I can't mention it to him, or else it means I'm not over it. I'm having a really hard time setting sexual boundaries with him because of it and some innocent things will make me feel terrible – but I can't tell him. This is just so stupid. How do I say I'm over it while still asserting myself as a survivor??? {end story}

 

5 comments

  • Lynz

    Posted on July 24, 2012

    Oh, girl. You may never get over it that doesn’t mean you have to let it hurt you any more. It sounds like you have a good partner. Be honest with him.

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    • Anonymous

      Posted on July 24, 2012

      I was in an abusive relationship but not for any where near as long as you. You should be proud of yourself for getting out of it, that takes strength. You have to do whatever you can to make sure it doesn’t limit you or effect you any longer. It took too much already. Leave the past where it belongs and let yourself be open to the good in life. You are strong and deserve it.

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    • Anonymous

      Posted on July 24, 2012

      I agree on all counts.

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  • Traci

    Posted on July 24, 2012

    It sounds like honesty and being yourself are important to you. I understand the fear of telling your partner what’s going on with you right now, but tell him. He may not understand, which could be hard, but it’s ok. We are all different. He just needs to hear who you are and respect your boundaries/feelings.

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  • Mary E. Pratt

    Posted on August 1, 2012

    You are STRONG.

    Your past is always a part of you. But if something makes you uncomfortable NOW, then it is about what you need NOW to feel safe and comfortable. You don’t need to apologize for or justify what you need where you boundaries fall. They simply are what they are.

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