A Crisis of Feminist Conscience?

4 comments | December 14th, 2011

(story submitted anonymously, by a Chestist)

What happens when what we want conflicts with who we think we are?  Here's her story:

I married my husband because he was pro-choice, a feminist, wasn't going to "save" me or any other damsels in distress.

I work hard, and take care of my family, but sometimes I wish someone else would take care of me. {end story}

We hear stories like this a lot.  Women who are strong, proud, in control, certain – and yet find themselves wanting to be taken care of emotionally, or "controlled" sexually, or to not be asked what they want all the time.

For some, it strikes at the heart of their feminist sense of self.  To us, here @OOC HQ, we think it makes all the sense in world and is a totally human (not gender specific) emotion.  Who wants to be strong all the time?  Who doesn't want to be taken care of some of the time?  To us, doesn't matter how strong you are…sometimes it's just nice to be coddled, spooned, and maybe even told what to do and how to do it.  What do you think?

Can you allow yourself to be multi-dimensional, multi-faceted and want things that may even be contradictory?

And to our anonymous writer, we ask…have you shared this with your husband?  Go on, miss, and speak your truth.  Sometimes that's the best way to get what you want.  We're just saying.





  • Tired of it

    Posted on December 14, 2011

    I absolutely relate to this. There are times when I come home, after telling people what to do and how to do it all day long at work, that I just want my boyfriend to not ask me what I want to do for dinner, to not ask me if I feel like watching X or doing Y. There are times when I just want to be told what to do, instead of having to tell people what to do.

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  • Freud

    Posted on December 14, 2011

    Matters of personal identity can wreak havoc on our emotional well-being. Most of us aren’t any one thing or another, we’re a mix of many (except the people on FOX News, they seem to be all one thing), and when one part of the puzzle that is us asks for more attention than is usual, it can throw our sense of balance way off.

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  • Nessa

    Posted on December 17, 2011

    Want what you want and like what you like and do not worry about labeling it.

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