Happy Hating




Under the Influence

6 comments | May 3rd, 2012

(story submitted anonymously, a Chestist)

Everything was going along fine, I was feeling good, until this one guy at work who's known to be a jerk asked me if I'd gained weight.

Forgetting the whole inappropriateness of the comment, what's been sticking with and annoying me is that since he said it a week or so ago, I think about it everytime I see myself in a morror or catch my reflection somewhere.  Yes, I've gained a little weight but I don't really care about that.  I'll take it off, put it back on, take it off, whatever.  What I care about is that some jerk's words stick with me.  What I wonder about is why I'm so influenced by the negative words of people I don't care about and yet ignore and am usually so un-influenced by the words and opinions of people I do care about.

Why's some idiot have more of a negative influence than some one I love has a positive one? {end story}


  • P-lina

    Posted on May 3, 2012

    Argh. I wish I knew why you did this so I could stop doing it myself. No matter how many nice words I hear from anyone it is always the other ones that stick in my head.

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  • Ava

    Posted on May 3, 2012

    We can be so much more inclined to believe the worst than the best. What is up with that?

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    • Anonymous

      Posted on May 3, 2012

      I think about this all the time. My non-scientific conclusion is that it’s part of our fight or flight instincts. We’re not trained to accept the good because the good makes us complacent and then easier prey for those who might be hunting us.

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  • SV

    Posted on May 3, 2012

    Does this mean our human nature makes us destined for unhappiness?

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  • Willa Yantz

    Posted on May 3, 2012

    3 words of advice “fuck that guy”. He’s obviously a dick and you shouldn’t let a guy who’s a dick ruin your day.

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  • Jeannie C

    Posted on May 3, 2012

    Just a few thoughts… first: what other people say about you says more about them than it does about you. That he would be so gauche to make such a comment tells me what a low-class dolt he really is. That being said, why take the opinion of such a fool to heart.

    None of this matters – I realize that. The problem is, you must build it up in yourself that you are beautiful. You must make it so that you do not listen to ANY opinions offered about your body size or shape. You must learn to realize for yourself that you are beautiful. Train yourself. I am telling you now – it takes a long long long time and a WHOLE lot of work to get to the point where you no longer cringe when you catch a glimpse of yourself naked in the mirror. What may be shocking to you – what blew me away is that this has precious-little to do with one’s body size or shape. I know thin women, fat women, seemingly ideal women who all feel embarrassed and ashamed of their bodies. The truth is you must create your own ideal. Your reality – your truth can only really come from you. External input is absolutely irrelevant. Good or bad. Doesn’t matter. Only thing you can control is you. Which is good because only thing that matters is you. (((hugs)))

    Just remember: “If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.

    A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”
    ― Roald Dahl, The Twits

    Be lovely. <3

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