Your Mother Was a Nightmare!

4 comments | June 7th, 2012

(story submitted by PL, a Chestist)

My BFF's mother died suddenly a few years ago.

When we were growing up, she was mean, drunk, absent, emotionally abusive, I'm talking a seriously terrible mother.  When they had any relationship at all it was a bad one.  Despite all this, BFF glorifies this woman and remembers her as an amazing mother, and an example of the mother she hopes to be.  This post-death version of who her mother was has not even a slight resemblance to reality.  This woman terrorized her.  I want to shake her and scream and wake her from these fantasies of maternal bliss.  I get so angry and even a little bit disgusted. Then I think maybe this is how she's reconciling not being able to reconcile.  If this is how she chooses to remember her mother, does it matter that it's a total fairytale?  Why does it bother me so much that she's forgotten how things actually were for her?  It's not my life. {end story}

We're all capable of reinventing the past to fit our present.  What do you think…should our writer remind her BFF of what was, or let her choose to remember what she wants, even if she's making it up?  Would you prefer to remember things as you do even if not as they were?


  • Me

    Posted on June 8, 2012

    I say let her have her fantasies, memories or whatever they are. No harm.

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  • Elise

    Posted on June 8, 2012

    I agree. Let memories lay. Who knows what she’s dealing with. Is it worth thinking about why it bothers you quite so much? Understanding that may be helpful.

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  • V.B.

    Posted on June 8, 2012

    There are always 2 sides of the same coin. Let her spend hers as she wants to.

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  • Mia

    Posted on June 9, 2012

    Maybe it bothers you because you wish you could fantasize about your past or relationships. Maybe you’d like some of those rose-colored glasses for yourself? I have always been a realist, so I can relate. I would let her look at it the way she wants, unless she asks you your opinion.

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