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WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

My Little Sister’s Body

20 comments | February 29th, 2012

(story submitted by Emily, a Chestist.  Originally on 6.6.11 and again today)

It can be really hard to admit that you're competitive with a sibling – especially when they're the younger one.  OOC reader Emily gets her Chestism on here and now:

A great deal of my body worries, at age 21, don't come from Hollywood stars or even that classmate who does part-time modeling. Because I know that I'm this way naturally, genetically. But the story doesn't end there.

I'm ashamed to admit that a great deal of my insecurity about my body comes from my 16-year-old sister. Why so? Her body has developed radically differently from mine.

At her age, I was pretty much the height and weight I am now: 5'10" and a size 10 on average. It distressed me for a bit, but in my mind I viewed it as just genetics. I thought, when my sister gets older it'll catch up with her too.

Of course, though, it didn't. For whatever reason, in the genetic lottery my sister lucked out on body type. Although she's only around 5'5", she is also still a petite size 6, and probably will be throughout her 20s.

I have mixed feelings on this. Like I said, it makes me feel horrible about my own body. At the same time, I know that even she (like any teenage girl) is insecure about her own weight and appearance. So I feel guilty that these thoughts appear even when she's so slim, and I want to love myself to be a good role model for her.

I'd almost wish that all siblings received similar body genes, but then we'd all be strange demi-clones.  I'm slowly accepting the differences that do exist.

And, the upshot is that I never have to worry about her stealing my clothes. {end story}

If you ask us, Emily's got nothing to be ashamed about – we feel what we feel.  Anyone else ever find themselves on one side of the other of the "genetic lottery"?  How'd it make you feel?

20 comments

  • Anonymous

    Posted on June 6, 2011

    In my family, I was the lucky one. I was pretty decent looking growing up, had lots of friends and activities, was pretty smart, got into good schools, all that.

    My sister’s 3 years younger, was really, really overweight, pretty much a loner, didn’t have much to do or anyone to do it with.

    What’s weird is that even now as adults, that same basic trend’s continued. So when good things happen to me or for me, I never feel like I can share them with her, because I don’t want her to feel bad.

    Report this comment

    • OOC

      Posted on June 6, 2011

      Sounds like you’re a sensitive soul, Anonymous. Must suck not to be able to share good news because you don’t want to seem like you’re bragging. You know us, we say speak your truth. Maybe you don’t need to protect her from being happy for you. XO, OOC

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  • Kourtney

    Posted on June 6, 2011

    I wanted my bigger sister’s boobs SO MUCH. Only one year older, but so much more developed (still). She got so much attention because of them and I was so jealous.

    Report this comment

  • Calista

    Posted on June 6, 2011

    I love the glass-is-half-full perspective pf the last line!

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  • Roxy

    Posted on June 6, 2011

    Emily, I think OOC’s right. You do not have to feel bad about your feelings. Your reaction is natural. Do not feel bad for it.

    Report this comment

  • Anonymous

    Posted on June 6, 2011

    My younger sister was adopted when she was 2 and I was 4. Me and my parents are white, she’s Chinese. She obviously looks nothing like the rest of us, but she won the genetic lottery in our family. I have my mother’s nose (a beak) my father’s ears (an elephant’s) and she is just so so beautiful. I love her beyond, but am so jealous of her sometimes. Life has been easier for her because she’s so pretty.

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  • The Reason You Come

    Posted on June 6, 2011

    I guess that’s one reason I’m glad I’m an only child. I wanted to have siblings, but hearing about sibling rivalry makes me want to thank my parents (sometimes). Of course, just because I don’t have sisters doesn’t mean no one makes me feel insecure. Like a lot of women, I wish I were better in some way or another, so seeing another woman who’s prettier, has nicer legs, etc., makes me feel a twinge of envy. I wish it weren’t the case, though, and we women could all just exist without having to compete with one another.

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  • Emmie

    Posted on February 29, 2012

    I have three brothers no sisters. I was the only one who is short, wore glasses and had acne. In my teens I felt like it was so unfair that boys were gifted with such good genes when me the girl was not. I eventually grew out of it and now am very happy with my short, nearsighted, acne prone self. :)

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  • Anonymous

    Posted on February 29, 2012

    Oh gawd. My sis is 4 years younger than me and light years hotter. growing up it made me a crazy girl and i was always so glad that we were 1 year to far apart to be in school together. I mean I absolutely love her but I wanted some attention for myself too.

    Report this comment

  • Anonymous

    Posted on February 29, 2012

    I’ve always felt a little guilty because I was the older sibling, and (objectively) was better looking, smarter, more popular than my sister. Everything came pretty easy to me and not very much came easy to her at all. Even now that we’re adults, it’s still the same way.

    I have a great career, an amazing BF, a life I really like, and she’s still finding her way. Sometimes though, I think that may be my judgment of her and wonder if maybe she’s really happy.

    Report this comment

  • Traci

    Posted on February 29, 2012

    Of course we are jealous of our siblings!!! We grow up with them, share some of the same genes, and then they have the nerve to be better looking/more popular/smarter/funnier than us! It is so annoying. Emily, you are way normal.

    Report this comment

    • Eva@OOC

      Posted on February 29, 2012

      We agree, Traci. Did any of you ever tell your sibling you were jealous of her/him? Why not put it out there? It is completely normal and it might help to clear the air and be real.

      Report this comment

  • Anonymous

    Posted on March 13, 2012

    Understand completely, this is probably gonna sound kinda weird but I’ve always been kinda jealous of my older brother, he set the bar with my parents so high – grades, popularity and not to mention looks(hell most of my friends fancy him) – and it always feels like i’m never going to be as good as him, when my parents compare me to him, though i don’t think they even know their doing it. He’s always been the better kid, you know. I love him more than anything and i couldn’t ask for a better brother but it’s hard to feel good sometimes, when i can see people comparing us and wondering if we are really related.
    I get it, Emily, don’t feel bad, we all do it sometimes.

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  • Jealousy Sucks

    Posted on September 11, 2013

    I have two younger sisters and a younger brother. They all got the good genes. My 14 year old sister is closest to my age(I’m 17) and she’s in the 8th grade, so this seems foolish to me, but oh well. She’s a lot prettier than me with her size 0 body and toned stomach(she doesn’t even try) and her bright blue eyes. She’s acne-free and outgoing. Guys fall all over her. I have acne and have to work a lot to keep my weight down, and while she has perfect hair, mine is frizzy and all over the place. She has no glasses, small ears, and full lips while I have the opposite. I’m jealous because she knows how unalike we are and points it out by telling me I’m ugly, fat, and never going to have a boyfriend like her. She believes she’s better than me and sometimes I can’t help but believe it(I wouldn’t tell her that). Sorry for how long this is, but I understand the feeling.

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    • FMB

      Posted on September 11, 2013

      Hey Jealousy Sucks…thanks for sharing that, no doubt it wasn’t (and isn’t) easy. Comparison is usually a pretty fast way to make us feel worse about ourselves. Here’s the good news, your sister won’t always be 14 and so she probably won’t always be trying to make herself feel better by making you feel worse. Here’s the other good news…it all gets easier and better. Try not to be so hard on yourself. There will always be people who are prettier, smarter, faster, funnier, taller, shorter, fatter, thinner, better dressed, have more money, and play Angry Birds better than us. You may not be any more perfect than they are…but you can always be amazing.

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  • Dominic (I'm a girl)

    Posted on November 24, 2013

    I have a little sister who is exactly 2 years and 2 months younger than I am. She’s so much prettier and thinner than I am. And sometimes she even has the audasity to point it out, or call me fat, or ugly.. It hurts my feelings and I don’t understand why she has to make me feel completely shit about myself… She’s also much better with boys and has had so many boyfriends (26 and she’s only 13) and I have had none.. (I’m 15) next year she’s coming to my highschool and I really don’t want her there! Even boys my age go for her and not for me. She hurts my feelings and knows exactly how to push my buttons.. When boys are near or at least talking to me, she always points out my flaws, and tell them embarresing stories about me. And then they like her more than me. I just hate her sometimes, but I know that’s wrong. Sorry that it’s so long.. I just have a lot of venting to do.. Also I gym and eat healthier and I’m also working on my appearance, just so she can’t make fun of me anymore. My little sister really is cruel.. *cry face* she also makes fun of me because I have boys name..

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